Kath Ink

A debt of love

2012-02-14T10:30:00.003-06:00

At first, I saw only: "BILL, tips accepted." My snap judgment quickly led me to an inward sigh, "Ahh these children of mine, always asking for money."

She had done me a favor. Now she was not only charging, but accepting tips as well. (Really it is her older brother who asks often for money. But they all got lumped together here in my sigh.)

But then...but then... I looked ...at my bill and read what it said. Not what I thought it said.

It was not a request for money. It was a bill for love. "Tips accepted. BILL. 10 hugs, 20 kisses, 2 snuggles." Ahh, so it is my heart -- not hers -- that needs correcting.

She was not asking for money. She served me in love with breakfast. Now, I owed her love -- not money. She told me just how she wanted her love: hugs, kisses, and snuggles. Well, I could do that!!

You see. My children have been serving me ever so diligently since I twisted my knee two days after Christmas. There is a lot of stiffness in the morning. So it takes longer than usual to get going.

Yet, the sooner I can take my meds with food, the better. So, when asked, the older three children have cheerfully made me an egg. Each one in turn has done this, and more than once, too. They have also warmed up my coffee with just the right amount of half-n-half. Just the way I like "my precious" (as the children tease me about it.)

They have even brought it to my bedroom. This has allowed me not to move far and finish my quiet time before I leave the bedroom -- which is working for me right now and helps everyone have a better day if I have spent time reading my Bible and praying before I tackle my day.

And so my eldest daughter brought me a lovely breakfast: cheesy scrambled egg, coffee, juice, and toast. When I was finished, she carted the dishes off and returned with a bill.

The BILL the next day from the younger daughter.

It reminded me of the verse in Romans:

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another...."

What a practical, tangible way to owe the debt of loving one another. Hugs, kisses, snuggles, "I love yous". Those really are the best debt to have with one another.

It is interesting to say we have the continuing debt to love one another. Why does it say continuing debt, an ongoing debt? Why do we owe love? And how do we show it? Any thoughts?

Have a Happy Valentines Day!

and remember

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law."

Romans 13:8

Linking up with Jen at the SDG Sisterhood.

Make new friends, keep the old (Part I)

2012-02-09T00:44:00.001-06:00

Kindred spirits

Lately, I have been having a hard time. I have been missing my old friends. The friends that have been close for most of the years that I have lived in Tennessee. You see, about three years ago, God called my husband & I and our four children to a new church.

It took about 6 months from the call to make the transfer but here we are three years later. Still at the new church. Called and transferred. Planted.

We are still loved. Oh, so still loved and cared for by the old church. We stay connected as much as we can. When we get together, it is almost as if we never left.

My laugh-out-loud, Jesus passionate friend

But, it is not the same.

I don't see them every week anymore. I don't know the details of their lives and they don't know mine. I see the big prayer requests and I pray. They pray for mine. If I called and asked for help, they would be here in a heartbeat. I even occasionally have moments of daily life interaction because I haven't moved across the country or across the state. I am in the same house across the city.

But... I am across the city.

And we -- my friends and I -- are all in that middle stage of life doing all the work. Our lives are very full with jobs, and with children, and with taking care of parents and other family members. Our lives are full. For that I am so grateful.

I have so much to be thankful for.

The next generation of friendships

But this living across the city, going to a different church; it is not the same. As seeing them Every Week. And sometimes more than once-a-week.

I need to be careful or I can get in a woe-is-me kind of attitude. Why haven't they called? (Because of course I don't ask when is the last time I have called them? I don't usually see it from that perspective.)

Friend visiting causes us all to get together

As a new friend reminded me this weekend, embrace the change. You don't want to hinder the work God wants to do in the other person's life because you have been holding on to them too long. And so it reminds me of the song I learned in Girl Scouts:

"Make new friends, but keep the old

One is silver and the other gold"

I have never known for sure which one is silver and which one is gold. These old and new friendships. But they are both precious. The old friends: we have walked many paths together: early marriage, having kids, watching your child go into brain surgery, miscarriages, band gigs, State Fairs, Bible studies, recipe exchanges, talks on the phone, Clash parties, parents dieing, sickness, Anne-a-thons, selling Discovery Toys and Creative Memories, New Year's Eve parties, birthday parties, salsa, long Sunday afternoons hanging out together, Far Out Fridays, tears, crying, and just everyday-living together. So much life. So thankful.

And yet this new set of friends that God has uniquely called together. This new bunch of home-school moms walking out this life together. Answering my desire to have friends close by that it is easier to get together with. That inspire. That are walking out this home-school thing right here in my neighborhood.

But... I had wanted it to be the old friends. Right here. Right next door. But...it is not how God has planned it. He has asked me to embrace the new. Embrace the multiplying ministry in my life; in their life.

Embrace the new because really I am doubly blessed. Doubly enriched to have all these deep sets of friends.

But I have been mourning the loss of daily living. So many things have happened that I have wanted to share the details with. Oh, we'll get together soon and share the details -- as much as possible in an evening. In some ways, it will seem as if no time has slipped by. Those are amazing friendships.

My loyal, quiet, steady do anything for you friends

But it is not the same. This walking life out not as closely as we once did.

And I noticed in Genesis how much Joseph wept upon seeing his brothers and his father. He wept a lot. He wept a lot just before saying, "You intended this for evil but God intended this for good." (No evil intent in all this...just God...intending for good.)

And so it seems to me that there can be weeping in the midst of embracing the new. Embracing the call God has upon my life. And so my weeping doesn't have to mean that I'm not embracing the change in my life.

My crazy mama (her self-dubbed name) life of the party friend

I am reminded that it is oh so good to miss them -- these old friends of mine-- terribly. It is not the same as packing up all of my belongings in my little blue car and being thankful to be leaving. Not shedding a single tear of departure there. Instead I rejoiced; so glad to be leaving. It was not hard to say good bye then. And now 20 years later, I am in touch with no one from that year of my life -- that hardest year. The place that I shed no tears upon leaving.

Ahhhh, but the old church. I have shed many tears upon not seeing you every week.

And that is a good thing.

It means the ride's been worthwhile. It is only for a little while that I have this sorrow. And really in heaven...I will get to spend time with all of them there.

So perk up little heart, it will be okay.

* * *

Linking up with Company Girls.

Lured by Acceptance

2012-01-28T17:57:00.002-06:00

It began one night many years ago. I was the new kid, invited by a friend. We were playing games, separated on four teams. "That looks easy. I'll win, for sure," I thought. I was the first one on my team to play. The players were to run around the circle and into the middle to win points.

The whistle blew and I ran. Before I knew it, they were awarding points for first and second place to two other people; I was last!

Uh-oh. I dreaded walking back to my team. The team with the most points would go home with a reward. I had earned none for my team; now no one would like me.

I was confident that I would hear, "Loser!" Or "why does she have to be on our team!"

Instead I heard different words. "Good job!"

What did I just hear? Yes, he said it again. My team leader had said, 'Good job!' None of the kids rejected me either. I was welcomed back to the team. Then the leader turned and began to cheer for the next player.

Even more than being astonished that I came in last, I was shocked that they told me good job when I didn't win.

The lure had begun. Two simple words embodied acceptance not based on performance. Two simple words breathed life. They spoke loudly to my seeking heart.

It was that acceptance that drew me to Christ. And it is that acceptance not based on my performance that keeps drawing me back in again.

I often stray. I want to perform. I want to do good for Him. I want to be the best in my flesh. I don't revel in boasting in my insults, in my weaknesses, that in me the only good is Christ. The old me doesn't really like that. No, not at all.

But once again when I am a puddle on the floor, fully aware of my desperate need. Then I am ever so grateful again to be drawn by that amazing merciful acceptance not based on my horrible performance.

I am accepted before the foundation of the world. Not by works of righteousness that I have done but according to His great mercy, He saved me.

And He breathes life again.

I am accepted. We are all accepted based on His performance, not yours. Not mine. But His.

May we all breathe deeply of His life breathing Words.

May you find life, grace, and refreshment in Him,
Kathleen

What about you, do you have a story of when you were lured by Acceptance?

Linking up with Jen at the SDG Sisterhood. Click on over for more great reading.

Linking up with Rachel at Home Sanctuary.

Whereby the self-indulgent post goes on and on...

2012-01-24T06:00:00.000-06:00

Here it is ... the last 58 items in my 100 Things About Me series-- though I doubt anyone has been on pins and needles waiting for the second part. In order to end this self-indulgent series quickly, this post is long (just like Part I ...only longer...). And it is in here where my hidden love -- hopefully family and Jesus are obvious loves -- but there is also tucked away a clue or two about a calling I need to pursue. This will make sense if you read THIS post (just 2 posts back). But if you haven't read it yet, you may need to make that another day because you already need a coffee or tea to make this here post some happy reading!

100 Things About Me: Part II

My father-in-law & mother-in-law, the #1 influence on our decision to homeschool.

43) My mother-in-law is the largest single influencing factor of why I started homeschooling. In addition to home-schooling my husband's brother, who is 13 years younger than him, through high school graduation, she offered to watch the children so we could attend...

With Carole Joy Seid & a favorite book (friend, Carole, me) The second most influencing factor on our decision to homeschool.

44)... a Carole Joy Seid seminar, which is the second most influencing factor of why I homeschool. After listening to Carole, I thought even I could do this and more importantly, I resonated with the lifestyle she presented as a great learning environment, also.

My crazy, fun, support-filled Teacher's Lounge friends. (I'm seated on the couch, 2nd from the left.)

45) The on-going inspiration for homeschooling is the group of homeschooling mom's called the Teacher's Lounge that meet once-a-month.
46) The family dynamics of homeschooling is a main reason we keep on homeschooling.

47) I changed my major so many times in college my parents needed an index card in their pocket or purse so they could tell their friends what exactly I was studying at that moment.
48) I am still characterized by changing my mind; there are just so many good ideas out there!

49) During my junior year of high school, I decided I wanted to be an elementary ed major.
From that time until my junior year in college, I was an education major. In one conversation with a guidance counselor, I was no longer an education major. I still vividly remember that spring day.

50) It turns out that teacher is truly part of my calling -- I love to teach my four children at home, tutor at the public school, or teach a Bible study. My high school intuition was right; it just took me a long time to find my way.

51) One of the best things I did in college was to become a Resident Assistant.
52) Another best thing I did in the college was to be a part of an on-campus Christian group.
53) Most of my friendships in college were cultivated in the wee hours of the morning, talking.
54) I took a college film class and slept through the reason for Rosebud in the pivotal, classic movie Citizen Kane.

Hubby & I are slated to race each other in a final heat in the bi-annual Jaeger Christmas Derby Races. I obviously don't know how to make an I'm gonna getcha face! Ha! December 2011

55) One of the many jobs I've had was selling Creative Memories scrapbooks & supplies. I still love their products and mission.
56) I was scrapbooking before it became trendy or acid-free.
57) I love paper and pens.
58) I love to write letters as much as I love receiving a hand-written letter in my mail-box.
59) I love to stay in-touch with friend and wish that I could stay "best" friends with everyone.

60) I have written since I learned how to write in the first grade. I have kept a journal since the fifth grade.
61) Being a pack-rat by nature, I have all the journals that I've ever written and the stories I wrote in the first grade.
62) I have dreamed of becoming a novelist since I was a young girl.

63) I love to play volleyball.
64) Watching the sunset over water soothes my soul.

One of the 10,000 lakes in Minnesota. Photo by me.

65) I love water. I like to swim in it and to ski on it. I like to go to the ocean, the lake, or the river.
66) I like to drink water. Or take long, hot showers.
67) My fascination with water is one of the reasons that my favorite color is blue.

68) Chocolate and garlic are my friends.

69) I love going out to eat with friends (real friends, not the chocolate and garlic).
70) I love staying up late: either talking with friends or simply by myself.
71) At a fifth-grade slumber party, I began my quest to see the sun rise by staying up all night. It never occurred to me to get up early to see the sun rise!

72) I love playing card and board games.

73) The point of drinking coffee is about the half-n-half. Just plain half-n-half. No low-fat substitute. No artificial flavorings. Just yummy, creamy half-n-half.

74) The nine months that I spent in Michigan were the hardest in my life, so far.
75) It took me years not to mention that time without tears in my eyes. And sometimes I still tear up.

76) I love candles, especially to light them and enjoy their glow.

77) I love music.

The 6 of us singing from a Seeds CD during our Christmas Eve celebration. Dec. 2009

78) I love to sing, play guitar & piano, and compose songs. I'm not the best at these things but I love them passionately and hope that in heaven I'll finally have the voice that I've always longed for.

79) I like naps. (Especially snuggled in with my kids.)

80) We still have a phone that is attached to a wall with a cord. (No, it is not a rotary phone and yes it does work. People have asked when they see it!) I do enjoy a good phone call with a friend!
81) I know how to text.(This may shock some of my friends I've known the longest.)
82) I have only had a cell phone for a year. My husband still doesn't.
83) I have not yet joined Facebook.

Hubby & I. October 2011

84) I have known my husband longer than I have not known him (since my birthday in September of 2011). More time with him than without him. Thank you Lord!

85) From friendship to marriage took four years.
86) I tease him about how long it took but I needed the time, too.

87) I love leading Bible studies.
88) I love hearing other people's stories.
89) Sometimes you can't tell because I'm doing all the talking. I always have to work at listening to others. (But I really do enjoy hearing other people's stories!)

90) Sunshine makes me happy.
91) And yet, I am often thankful for a rainy day, too.

92) I like to cook & bake.
93) I have learned to enjoy managing a household.

Delivering the annually requested homemade blueberry birthday pie to my oldest. Sept. 2010

94) I like my things organized but my time unstructured.
95) A vacation seems like a vacation to me when we we're able to do what we want, when we want, without a thought of a clock or a to-do list.

96) I have a 'one-dollar' look. (This will need further explanation than I can give it here.)

Celebrating my birthday with a decadent chocolate cake made by my husband. 2011

97) I love to laugh.
98) I enjoy meeting new people & making friends (including on-line ones!).
99) I am not mechanically-inclined and even less so now after being married to a mechanically-inclined person for 18 years (because I let him do all of that).

100) Although a ramp-up person (for instance my blog is two years old and I am just now getting to my 101st post, actually), I also like to dive-into cold water rather than gradually get in. (Hence another aspect of the dichotomy of my non-existent personality type.)

How about you?
Is there an interesting fact or two you would like to leave in the comments about you? Or if you like you could give a big woo-hoo that this post is done!
If you want to write 100 things or already have,
in the comments leave us a link to your blog where we can learn about you.

Welcome Company Girls -- Jump on over to Rachel Anne's to meet another group of wonderful women.

Celebrating my 100th Post

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

It has been around a long time. Long enough that it seems old. Not fresh and hip. Well...truth be told, I've never been really good at hip & trendy. Once I figured out that I had friends who liked me for me and not the Izod alligator on my shirt, I stopped working so hard on style.

And so in honor of my lack of hipness, I am commemorating my 100th post by being terribly self-indulgent with a 100 Things About Me series. (Yes, more than one self-indulgent post for the sake of length.Yikes!)

I am doing this because I enjoy reading these types of posts on other blogs. Hopefully, I'm not the only one. If I'm part of the minority (and I often am), don't blame me; blame the person who started this.

If you read my post about 380 miles and are curious about my new pursuit of an old dream, it is hidden in the second of these two posts. I'll be curious if you can detect what it is.

100 Things About Me: Part I
(The information in the intro paragraph is just a bonus!)


My family of origin with spouses and children on my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. I'm seated on the far left.

1) I am the youngest of 5 children.
2) I mention this a lot because I am intrigued by birth order and other such personality tests.
3) Just ask my husband who has been subjected to dozens of personality tests (even though I probably know his personality type better than he does!)
4) I once read that my combined personality type doesn't exist.

5) A horse stepped on my foot when I was about eight.
6) I didn't like horses for a long time but said I did because I thought all girls were suppose to like horses.
7) It took many years to become an out-of-the box thinker instead of doing what I thought people wanted to me to do.
8) Either way, I do like horses now but wish I knew how to ride them better.

9) My parents still live in the only home I lived in as a child.

My parents on their 50th wedding anniversary.

10) I was born and raised in Minnesota -- the land of 10, 000 lakes.
11) Though I love Minnesota, I am its fair weather friend: I cry when I leave in the summer and am thankful to leave its cold behind when I leave in the wintertime.

12) My favorite season depends upon location. In Tennessee, it is the spring. The gradual weeks long process of blooming flowers is amazing! In Minnesota, summer is my favorite. Perhaps I should have named a daughter Summer because I love it that much.

From our summer 2011 camping trip. We try to go camping at least once a year.

13) In the summertime, my parents took our family on lots of camping trips. They are my favorite childhood memories.
14) I still like to go camping. Camping can mean staying in a camper, a cabin, or a tent.

15) Another favorite summertime activity was going to camp. If I could have lived at camp all summer long, I probably would have. But then I would have missed my favorite family-times. So I'm glad I didn't.
16) I still often wish that I could be in more than one place at a time. The desire to not miss out on any fun has yet to die in me. Those last-born tendencies live on!

Volunteering in the kitchen at the kid's camp 2011 -- can't get it out of my system!

17) I am a voracious reader.
18) I rejected a book club invitation in high school from friends who were going to sit around and read and discuss books like The Brothers Karamazov. It sounded boring.
19) Since then, I have obtained The Brothers Karamazov.
20) And I have also participated in two different book clubs. Neither of which read or discussed The Brothers Karamazov. Now, I think I would have enjoyed that first book club.

My running shoes.

21) I have run one full marathon. (Yes, oh yes, I ran 26.2 miles of fun.)
22) Seven years after running a full marathon, I ran a half-marathon (just this past spring).
23) I often do things in an unusual order or way but you couldn't tell that by my hair or clothing.

My oldest brother & I doing a funny pose. Nov. 2011

24) It's my eldest brother's fault that I started running. He invited me to run with him one night. I have run off and on since that time, including two years on my high school cross country team.

25) When asked about an accomplishment that I am proud of, I still cite receiving the Most Improved Runner award on my high school cross country team. It was a huge surprise because I didn't remember that award being given out the previous year. I still have the plaque.

The kids imitating the faces they carved. Oct. 2011

26) I have four children.
27) I have had five pregnancies. (I had a miscarriage between number 3 and 4).
28) I have had two of my children at home. (On purpose.)
29) Labor and delivery of my fourth child was way harder than the marathon.

Our family photo on Easter 2010.

30) My husband and I were married for 5 years before any of his siblings got married.

31) We celebrated our fifth anniversary by canoeing down a river. I was 7 months pregnant with our first child.
32) We were infertile for 4 years. Then we had 3 kids in three years.
33) When I had three kids ages 3 and under, I often was crying by 10 o'clock in the morning wondering how I would make it to the end of the day.

34) Now I know it wasn't just being overwhelmed by little ones but also lack of blood sugar...I usually hadn't eaten breakfast yet. Thank goodness for the season of everyday eggs that taught me this.

35) I like my husband to decide what I want for breakfast.
36) I don't like him to decide any other meal of the day for me.

November 2011

37) I felt complete when I became a mother.
38) Becoming a mother has been one of the best things to happen to me because I have grown-up in responsibility and in loving others. I am a better person because I am a mother. I am thankful that God granted this desire of mine.

39) I have 80 first cousins. (Give or take a few, its hard to count that many!)
40) I know most of them, which means I know who they are and their name when I see them.
41) Most of my first cousins and their families live in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area. I'm in the very small minority that moved and stayed away.
42) June 2011 marked living in Tennessee for 19 years.

Stay tuned....I'll finish the next 58 delightfully entertaining items about myself tomorrow (Click HERE to read)...waiting on pins and needles I'm sure.... in the meantime...feel free to leave a comment about the most interesting item so far...or better yet something about you...this is beginning to sound like a monologue...dive in and save me from me....

Also linking up with Jen and the SDG sisters.

380 Miles

2012-01-12T11:06:00.012-06:00

In 2011, I logged three hundred and eighty miles on my running shoes. It is hard to believe that I ran that many miles. With something that impressive, it seems I would have set out to do it. I didn't.

Rather, after seven years of sporadic daily exercise, I decided to run a half-marathon because my sister-in-law was finally ready to run it with me.

That was the main goal. To run a half-marathon.

Since I had run a full marathon several years before I thought this would be an easy goal to tackle. I was wrong. Yes, you can write that down. I was wrong. Not running -- really at all -- for seven years, gaining the weight I had lost back, and entering into my forties doesn't make for easy half-marathon training.

On a crazy note, because it felt like work to train, it made it easier to make time to train. "I have to do this" seems much more compelling than "I love this!" Usually I feel guilty for doing something that I enjoy. This time I only remember one good training run.

Yet, the reason 380 miles is on my mind is the gratitude I have for them. You see, I twisted my knee two days after Christmas. Running the upcoming half-marathon this spring is out of the question. Walking it is a maybe and a daunting goal, considering that I have not bent my knee fully for 3 weeks.

I am so thankful that I have run a half-marathon and the full 26.2 marathon before that. That full marathon was one of my top two items on my life list I things I want to accomplish. This set-back is only temporary. I will be active again.

But it is not a blow to a dream-goal.

I am so thankful.

There is disappointment. My son and I had signed up together and were training together. I loved that. I am sad about not being able to do that.

But I am so thankful that this set-back isn't putting me in despair of reaching a dream that I've had for a long time. It can't!

This obstacle cannot strike a blow to the goal of running a marathon because I have already done it! Amazing!

Thus, this realization has caused me to think about the number one item on my life list. It has been there longer than running 26.2 miles.

So... now it's time.

Time to pursue that dream. Cross it off the list before some small obstacle knocks a blow to that dream-goal.

Hopefully next year at this time I will have logged 380 miles pursuing my other dream. No regrets. May the Lord continue to "teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

How about you?
Have you ever encountered a disappointing set-back
that surprisingly gave you a better perspective on life?

Love, Kathleen

Linking with SDG Sisterhood at Jen's.
and with the Company Coffee Girl's at Rachel's

The telling tales of where our pockets have been

2012-01-09T19:29:00.015-06:00

I Spy...
...paper clips that try to hold my many scattered papers together...
...a string of fake, pink pearls to decorate the throat of a princess or a bride...
...a safety pin or two to make the capes of superheroes ..
...a police badge helps to capture pirates running through our halls

I Spy...
... something red and stretchy: an extra hand that I can always use...
...rocks from the pockets of explorers in frontier lands...
...beads, and shells, and buttons for creative inventions and gifts...

I spy
...an earplug or two: the attempt for quiet in this loud and sticky life...
...a sparkly flower to brighten our day while we wait for spring....
...a dime & a nickel: tips that a laundry lady will be grateful for indeed...

I spy
...bits and pieces of my life
Telling tales of where our pockets have been
Now tumbled out
Washed and dried
Now in a laundry jar
Forgotten, misplaced

Mixed together
Tiny tools and treasures
Taking things that
Don't belong together
Not quite in the place they're meant to be
Except that they're in
My washer, my life

The superheroes, the princesses,
The treasures of explorers
The many scattered thoughts
Mixed up, not belonging together
Except that they are here
Together

In my life

* * * *

Linking up today with Jen and the SDG women. Click HERE for more inspiration.
Linking up also with the Company Coffee girls HERE.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T09:17:00.005-06:00

Thanksgiving Day 2011

Merry Christmas from my family and I.

May your days be filled with peace and joy
due to the baby boy that was
"born so that man no more may die."

-- Kathleen

Christmas Rambling Randomness

2011-12-09T12:30:00.027-06:00

This nativity set was a gift from my folks to Kip& I on our first Christmas as a married couple. It sits upon the piano. Baby Jesus and the manager live out all Advent long. Some (such as my sister) are adamant that Jesus be placed in the manager on Christmas day. It seems like something that I would feel strongly about it, but I never have. In our set Jesus is attached to the manager, so we have just always set them out when we set it up.

On the Day of Decorating the House for Christmas we begin by hauling the boxes out of the attic, turning on Russ Taff's Christmas CD, and donning Santa hats. Then the work of transformation begins. And if I have remembered, the family will drink eggnog to boost their energy.

The kids decided to repeat their house decorating performance of last year and do it by themselves again. Hubby was engaged in a sewing machine project. So, I immersed myself in the taking of many photos -- on our new digital camera.

Assistant Mom directs the youngest and prepares the ornaments to be hung.

I was glad to be taking lots of photos for I needed a job to do. Next year, I do think I will get in on the ornament hanging at least since I miss reflecting on the ornaments and the stories associated with them.

We've hung our stockings on our bookshelves because we don't have a chimney.

We put our advent wreath together and have lit it and have sung Christmas carols. (This is a tradition that I felt empowered to begin due to the blog post on Like Mother, Like Daugher HERE and also on The Simple Wife HERE.) Begin, start. Do something. It is often better than nothing and better than never getting around to it. As I heard at a recent organizational seminar "Sooner is better than perfect." And I did it that year...when I read about...not necessarily at the beginning of the season.

The tree before it has been fluffed or decorated.

It doesn't have to be perfect but do it. Make a decision. Go for it. I think I often get caught in the trap of making special holiday memories for the other adult's in my life that I think are critiquing (but no one is -- who has time for that in all the holiday busyness?!) and I tend to forget about the desires of my children -- wanting a happy mama, the wonder of the season with creating some anticipation. So it is not the most perfect Advent wreath but it is a tradition we have begun to do. (Interested in the first year that I did that? Read HERE.)

Our advent wreath a few years ago.
The base looks the same; we just have different colored candles this year
(always with one different).
We lit them during dinner and do our other Advent things after dinner
during Storytime with Daddy (when we're home).

We have an wooden advent calendar that we use each year. And now I see that my children really do know the details of the Christmas story. The repetition of a deeply layered story helps us peel it back each year. And as we read the The Living Word that is active to divide between our soul and spirit, each of our hearts can have something freshly revealed each season, each day -- if we are able to quiet ourselves and allow ourselves to hear it.

I love this plate my sister gave me a few years ago.
And in an unprecedented design move for me
I bought this stand for a Thanksgiving plaque that I bought.
And now, behold, it also holds our Santa plate!

And so it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas again around our house. It was a lot easier again this year because we have a 6, 10, 12 and 13 year old. They are all here. They like being here and contributing and helping and giving their strength to our home. And I benefit. It is a beautiful thing. So different from the years of all babies and toddlers all of the time (which were beautiful, too, in their way, just more physically demanding.) We have been here for awhile now. But, we are still adjusting to this new place of young men and women at our house (with youngest still full of energy, wonder, antics and loudness to keep us not so wondering where we are in this loud and sticky life.)

We have even purchased a few gifts, I have the Christmas photo for the letters ready, the envelopes purchases. I have started on most things. Done something on most of the Christmas lists. I have sent off my Christmas wish lists to others. I am ahead of where I usually am at this time of year, but without an exploding sense of "I need to get this!" And that makes me a little nervous, actually.

Because it is December 9th and we do need to ship gifts. And we are far from having all the gifts purchased and wrapped. Far from having Christmas cookies baked, much less frosted, and other special seasonal treats prepared. Next week is crazy busy with lots of festivities which really begin with a full, fun day tomorrow.And at least one -- if not two events -- starting on Wednesday through next Sunday. (I do love the parties and events, though, it is certainly part of the spirit of the season for me.)

This week seemed peaceful enough. Yet, I don't know that I have accomplished enough of the to-do lists to navigate next week without feeling overwhelmed.

Favorite ornaments that also look like the figurines in little advent sets that
a dear woman from church gave to me on the birth of the third child.
They each love to take their own set of figures to play with each year.
Since we pack them up with the Christmas stuff, it helps them to be more special.
Each child puts them in their own box that they decorate how they want.
(Each child has been through more than one box and the child that is into wood-working has made his own stable out of wood.)
Thankfully I found a fourth set after the child was born at Hobby Lobby six years ago.
I haven't seen them since but also haven't searched for them either.

But I would rather choose peace. Choose to walk peacefully through the potentially chaos of events. I cannot go back and do more preparations for the days ahead. I can only walk in this moment. And as a friend often reminds me, Do the next right thing.

So I will sign off this blog post and hit publish (because sooner is better than perfect.) And attend to the needs of the children.

And a special welcome to the Company Girl Coffee folks -- I have missed you!

May we all navigate this season with peace with the Prince of Peace as our guide who came that He may abide with us all of the time.

'Tis the Season to be Thankful

2011-11-23T15:56:00.006-06:00

May the weekend be stuffed full of counting every good and perfect gift.

Here is a small sampling of things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for chickens that recently came to visit. Some of our best friends came to visit. They came with chickens. How fun to have chickens in my house! Since I am a suburbia dweller for all the days of my life and I am not well-acquainted with animals, this was my first time to host poultry in my home. How about you? When is the last time you had chickens in your house?

I am thankful for a table that is worn with memories, including a dinner for two this summer while the children were away. I am thankful for the aunt and uncle who keep the kids for a week, creating special memories for the cousins.

I am thankful for fun, summertime memories with the 6 of us. Over ten days of travel, beautiful sunshine, family, and friends, culminating in the celebration of the wedding of good friends.

This is my favorite picture of the year. We went tubing this summer and it started at the K&K tubing company. How fun since those are our initials and we have delighted in being K&K for 18 years and it was close to our actual anniversary on this day. It is also a favorite picture because this day of renting tubes and floating down a river in Minnesota set off a chain reaction here in Tennessee when we told some good friends about it. Soon we were equipped with our own tubes and floating down a river in Tennessee. What a great way to cool off during a hot summer.

I am thankful for these four children: their creativity, their imagination in creating costumes, their playful spirits, and their loving hearts. It has been a mighty privilege to be their momma. I am a better person for being a mom. I am so thankful that God granted this desire. He does not grant all desires equally in the same quantity to the same people. I am so thankful for the ones He has granted to me.

I have a thankful heart.

How about you? What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving.

What's baking at my house this week

2011-10-25T00:01:00.007-05:00

This is what is on my plate this week -- quite literally-- the baking of a pirate cake. We're hosting a Pirate Themed Birthday party for the youngest who is turning six and who is having his first friend party.

I encouraged the party to be a Pirate Theme just so I could make this cake -- for the third time. Third time is the charm -- right!?! Last year I convinced him not to have a pirate cake. This year, I persuaded him to have a pirate cake. What's up with that?

It started when he was turning three. I had asked him what kind of cake that he wanted after we'd been through the bakery aisle at the grocery store. We'd oohed and aahed over the neat looking cakes.

So when asked what kind of cake he wanted, he answered, "A pirate cake."

I meant chocolate or vanilla. He meant a pirate cake.

I didn't want to buy the cake due my frugal tendencies. Instead, I set out to learn how to make a pirate cake. It didn't look that hard. And it wasn't; but, as usual, I didn't give myself a lot of time to experiment with such a project.

I baked it. I built it. We ate it.

Then his four year old birthday approached.

"What kind of cake would you like?" asked his mommy.

"A pirate cake, " he replied.

Since I didn't keep anything that I had used to make it, I had to search again for directions on the internet although this time I could also look at my pictures. It went okay.

When the five year old birthday came around. I convinced him to choose another cake; perhaps by not giving him the option of a pirate cake. (I don't really remember since that was a year ago.) I didn't want to be locked into baking a pirate cake for the next 10 years.

But I guessed I missed making it since I convinced him to go with a Pirate Theme just so I could make this cake!

Since making a cake for the third time may not be stressful enough (even though I will probably need to look up directions again. I don't know, of course, since it is only Tuesday and the party is Saturday), we're going to make our own pinata for the very first time. This will help just in case things won't be stressful enough getting ready for the kid party on Saturday. Tee-hee. Right now, it sounds fun and creative. Hopefully it remains so, especially with an inspired 13 year old around that can spearhead the pinata project while I bake the pirate cake again.

It should be a fun week!

But if you'd like to give some pinata-making tips, they are quite welcome.

So....what's baking at your house this week?

Scrapbooking & Contentment

2011-10-19T00:34:00.012-05:00

Putting together a photo order so that we can each scrapbook!

This past weekend I went scrapbooking. I dusted off my tools and my pictures. I hauled my gear an hour away from my home. I set up my stuff on a table and focused on getting child number three's baby book finished. And now she has photos of herself in a dedicated book from birth until one year old, just one month after her ten year old birthday. Woo-hoo!

I was in the midst of kind-hearted women. We ate when we wanted to, slept if we wanted to, and all of us worked on our albums. There was chit-chat about our pictures and the memories that they hold. There were movies and music and working on our albums.

And here in this atmosphere of kindness, I still felt pressure. It certainly wasn't coming from anyone else. We didn't even spend much time looking at each other's stuff; we were busily focused on our own projects.

And yet, we glance. I saw the seemingly large stacks of page layouts they were getting done. The amazing amount of craft and beauty. My pages were much more simple. I worked much more slowly.

And I found myself needing to remind myself that I was making the book for my daughter. And she would love the album. She has been waiting for the album for a long time. She won't look at anyone else's album. Only this one that I created for her.

Why is so hard not to get caught up in comparing myself to others? Wanting these other scrapbookers, most of whom I do not know, to come and be impressed with my pages?

Isn't it fascinating that I needed to remind myself who I was making the album for? There was no external pressure about this. I sure seem to fight a lot of internal pressure. Where does it come from? And why so strongly?

As I thought, "I'm making this my daughter. She will love it.", I began to be content. I remembered my focus, my calling.

And truly I was right. My daughter loved the album. Actually the whole family delighted in the album, these pictures of welcoming sweet number three to our family.

Those other scrapbooks that made me feel pressure, they've faded but not the women that created them. I remember their friendly faces. Their encouraging words. Their adamant invitation that I join them at their monthly crops. I remember their kindness.

The stacks of more work that "they" seemed to get done went by the wayside when the oldest said, "Wow, it looks like you accomplished a lot."

May this internal, ridiculous pressure go away once and for all!

Surely, I will yet learn the secret of contentment.

...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances...I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation...Philippians 4:11, 12

How about you?
Can you relate to feeling inward pressure that is not really there externally?Or do you just think I am crazy? Do you have some secrets to share about learning to be content?

The Secret of the Heron

2011-10-11T00:39:00.009-05:00

It was the last day of summer. It was sunny with a few scattered clouds and little wind. The smells of river-water, sun & mud wafted through the air -- outdoor fresh with a hint of fish. The bugs were cricketing with a buzz, buzz and a cheep, cheep.

We sat on the hard rocks. We began to sketch nature observations into our new journals. Great and silent across the river sat the patient fisher bird. Our heron friend that we often see at this bend in the river stood in the water. Waiting.

We took turns gazing at him through the new pair of binoculars the thirteen year old received for his birthday. We could see the heron's open mouth and the detail of his gray-blue feathers.

I saw splashes and bubbles. There must be fish nearby. I hoped to see the heron make a catch, if only we waited long enough.

There was a bright blue sky. Above the green-leafed trees with their faint yellow-rimmed edges, the jet roared. Its explosive sound interrupted the serenity and quiet beauty of our "secluded" spot. It was then that I also noticed the cars thundering over the cement, metal bridge a half-mile away.

The contrast of the images jarred me. But it didn't jar the heron, or the birds, or the bugs.

The heron stood just as focused on finding a fish for its dinner. The birds chirped just the same. The bugs kept on buzzing away.

They didn't even flinch.

Yet, I was interrupted. I heard the jet. I heard the cars.

The noise reminded me that I belong to a culture of to-do lists, of places to go, and of accomplishments to achieve. But I didn't want to be reminded just yet about the world to which I would soon return. The to-do lists that are never finished were left back on the kitchen counter for a reason!

I longed to package this moment and bring the peace back into my "real" life.

What was the secret of the heron? How could it be undisturbed by all the noise? Was it numb to it? Or was it focused on its calling: its need for dinner tonight?

Then, I realized that the jet was not disturbed by the heron either. It didn't even know the heron was there. But the bird didn't care if it was noticed by the jet. The jet wasn't striving to be noticed by the heron. Each was focused on its own purpose.

The jet sure would look silly wading in the river to catch a fish. Likewise, not even one person on the jet could climb upon the heron to get to their destination.

I must begin to realize that it is just as silly for me to try to pursue someone else's calling as it is for a jet to wade for fish!

My calling is to be here in this moment with my children. I need to climb over the rocks and down to the water's edge far away from my respectable to-do list and into this moment. Oh, I shall need to return to the many listed responsibilities. . . but for this moment I need to collect shells and to throw stones in the river, and simply let God's creation soak deep down into our souls.

No, I am not transforming the world with technology or amazing speeches. I am not making headlines or any kind of monetary contribution to society or even to our small household. But. . . I am making a difference in the lives of these four children. And this is my calling here and now in this short season while they roost here with us.

And that, my friends, is the secret of the heron: Know your calling. Your unflinching, undisturbed calling that keeps you fishing for dinner in the midst of a jet-roaring world.

Have you found your focus, your calling in life?
If so, has it helped you to maintain peace in the midst of chaos?

Linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven today.

Thirteen

2011-10-06T11:53:00.015-05:00

For the day my first born turned thirteen 2 1/2 weeks ago

Thirteen years.

Thirteen is an unlucky number, or so they say,

But not for me

Because thirteen years ago today

My dream came true

I became a mom

Thirteen years from now

I will be a mom whose children are all grown

How dare they come and

Change my heart, my home, my life

And fly away so soon

Yet that is their calling

And my calling too

To help them become

Who they are called to be

And in the process

It changes me

Changing diapers, making meals

Teaching fractions and phonics

To say please and thank you, too

Reading books and saying prayers

Tickles and laughter and outbursts of tempers

Theirs and mine

And I am changed

Holding their hands, holding their hearts

As they change

To become who they are called

To be

And in the process

It changes me

Thirteen

* * * * * * * * * * * *

How about you?

Has a recent milestone made you reflect upon your life?

And/or what advice do you have for us

for these upcoming teenage years?

* * * * * * * * ** * * *

p.s. Linking up with Company Girls at Home Sanctuary. Check it out HERE.

Someone is Ten Today

2011-09-16T13:25:00.007-05:00

Happy Birthday, Sweet Ten-Year Old.

Ten Years Ago today you entered our home and our hearts have never been the same. You loved to be held then and that hasn't changed, o giver of many hugs.

Sweet, funny, loveable, and creative you are.

Your beautiful blonde, platinum hair makes you distinctly different from your mother and your sister, which is appropriate because you are unique. Yet, there is a family resemblance with your Aunt Kay.

Your longing to be home with all of us helps us to stay home more and enjoy one another. I love getting to know you. I love your logical mind, your merciful heart, your creative hands, your silly sense of humor, and your spiritual sensitivity. I love how you engage adults in conversation, you have a special way with them. .

You are our pearl dedicated to God. So thankful for you.

Happy Tenth Birthday.

Love, Mommy

Finding a New Groove

2011-09-15T08:35:00.020-05:00

One of the groove busters: our MN vacation.
Here are the kids 0n Paul Bunyan's lap in Northern Minnesota.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my schooling groove and my blogging groove. I am looking for them. If you find them --or any of my other good grooves, will you return them to me?

Ahhh, if it could only be that easy.

It's always harder to restart than it is to keep going, isn't it? So, why do I have such trouble remembering that? Sometimes it's a circumstance: a vacation, a sick child, a broken car, or some other time-consuming event. Then my feelings take advantage: I don't feel like it.

Another pic from our groove-busting, memory-filled vacation.

It is just like when I am running along and then... bam... there I am walking. I didn't decide to walk. But I am walking none-the-less. It is best if I take three quick steps as soon as I notice I'm walking or I may walk a long way. And so it is with my habits, I need to take quick action or it may be a long time before I'm grooving again.

Unfortunately, I did not take quick action and so I find myself today in need of lots of gumption to find the grooves of schooling and blogging.

One of the easier grooves to re-establish has been running. It hasn't been as long since I was in the groove as it has been with the others. Also, my oldest is running with me. He woke me up yesterday when I didn't hear my alarm.

So there is that, too: fresh enthusiasm from another. Always very helpful to get over a hump of inertia.

And in the running together, I have passed on a couple of tid-bits: watch your form and it's a mental game. Now, at first they were for him. But, I have found that I need to apply this mental game advice to my every day life.

Our family at our dear friends' wedding.

Most of us can get up and run -- even if it is not your method of getting a work-out. But the big part of learning to run (and a great benefit of running) is to teach your mind to direct and not your body. Decide beforehand how long you will run and how you will run. The work-outs can be slow and easy with no walking or fast and hard run with short walking breaks.

The type of run doesn't matter as much as training the body to do what your mind says and not what it feels like.

And isn't that great advice for tackling the daily details? Determine in advance what you will do in spite of what you feel like doing.

And so, I determined in advance that we will do math this week even though it is birthday week at our house (three birthdays, seven days). We will set our alarms and begin our routines. And instead of reading lots of blogs this morning, I am writing my own blog post. I need to re-establish the blogging groove somehow. Here it is.

Cute, aren't they?
At the end of our three-day camping trip in Northern Minnesota.

What are you determining to do in spite of how you feel?
Are you in a good groove?
Or, are you like me and beginning again?

P.S. Welcome to the Company Girls...I've been gone awhile...thanks for checking in on me...and for my other readers click HERE to get to know some other folks...

The Plan for the upcoming 2011-2012 School Year

2011-08-01T10:00:00.001-05:00

Hello! Welcome to all and especially to those hopping on over from the the Not-Back-To-School Blog Hop at Heart of the Matter.

Today's post will be focusing on curriculum.

Since I home-school multiple ages, I try to do as many subjects together as possible. That includes science, history, Bible, and read-alouds. Also, I adhere to a learning lifestyle that includes many books that we read aloud together, looking up questions as they come up, observing wild life around us. But I do recognize that there are some academic skills that we'll not master if we don't take the time to intentionally pursue them.

So the following list is mainly for our in-the-seat work.

Bible
Our main text is The Story Bible by Catherine Vos. We read aloud. Then the kids take turns telling me what they remember, also called narration in the Charlotte Mason method.

AWANA handbooks: they each take ownership of memory verses and projects. I'll need to help the Kindergartener since he'll be learing to read. I have one who graduated out of the program after achieving the Timothy Award. So my seventh grader & I will be memorizing whole chapters of the Bible together. This will be incentive for me to memorize Scripture.

Sunday school class, VBS, and life lessons as they come up.

Math--
In order to create a fun atmosphere in regards to math we have these resources around.
I Hate Mathematics
Math for Smarty Pants
Games for Learning Math by Peggy Kaye

Muggins, Math-It, Yahtzee & many other games
Math-U-See blocks, legos
Dice, coins, chips, fraction wheels, rulers

Making Math Meaningful by David Quine for the K, 5 & 6th grader
Life of Fred for the 7th grader

Language
English From the Roots Up, Vol. I by Lundquist
Emma Serl's Language Lessons (Both Primary & Intermediate depending on which student)
Four days a week prompts to write in a composition book.
Learning Spelling Through Copy Work

History
Our main text is V. Hillyer's A Child's Story of the World. We read a chapter and then the children draw a picture and write about it. As they get older, I'm requiring more be written. We emphasize using our best handwriting and applying grammar rules.

We're entering the Roman phase as we read chronologically. I hope to read some of Genieve Foster's Caesar Augustus World. I also look up books that will fit in this time period, using different book lists that I can find including a Carole Joy Seid book list, Valerie Bendt's Unit Study book. I also use Honey for a Child's Heart, Books Children Love, and the Read Aloud Handbook to find good books to read, not just for history but also for science and for fun. I love looking for new good books to read.

I will also check out a book or two from the library about crafts & projects we can do. We also have a global puzzle, spend time looking at maps, too.

Science
Considering God's Creation: We have several units left that I would like to cover: animal classification, weather, and some others. There are other resources listed in each unit that I use to supplement.

The Periodic Table for Elementary Students.

Nature Walks & Observations in a field trip notebook

Art
Artistic Pursuits by Brenda & Dan Ellis
Creating Books with Children by Valerie Bendt (oh.. to finish this project! it is up first!)

I also try to have lots of art supplies on-hand.

Kindergarten
Alphaphonics by Samuel Blumenfeld. I have taught the other three with this book. When we complete this book, they can get a library card of their own. (The local library will give you one when they are born. When we started the phonics program with the first born, none of them had cards and I thought this would be a wonderful incentive and directly related to reading! They loved not being restricted to the number of books because we had to share my card.)

Bob Books for practice of reading

Sparks handbook

Five In A Row Vol. I by Jane Lambert

Handwriting Without Tears

Making Math Meaningful-Kindergarten

Seventh Grader
Fix-Its by Pamela White, an IEW product. The student fixes grammar mistakes.

Other miscellaneous grammar workbooks that I picked up here & there. I still need to fill in the remainder of his grammar curriculum. This will be a focus while I'm hopping to other blogs.

Starting Points by Cornerstone Curriculum. I plan to do this over the course of two years. The program begins to teach how to discern worldviews and how they impact literature and history. In addition to the syllabus, the seventh grader will be reading: How to Read Slowly by James Sire, the Chronicles of Narnia, The Deadliest Monster, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, Know What You Believe by Paul Little. This curriculum is to begin to teach Biblical world view thinking.

Other thoughts
In this post I am listing curriculum, if you click on a colored words it will take you to a website about that product. I tried to link to the writer of the product if I could. This is just for information. I haven't received anything to do this.

I appreciated when I began all the help that other home schoolers gave me. Still, when I need to focus on a new area, I'm thankful for the trading of resources & blog hops like this one.

If you would take the time -- which I'm assuming most of us don't have -- and clicked on my post from last year, you would notice we are using many of the same curriculum. We're in a groove right now that seems to be working -- and if it's working let's not fix it. The newest additions are for the oldest (a seventh grader) and the youngest (a kindergartener).

May we all have either a great School year no matter where we are educating our children!

When do your children go back to school? Some folks around here go back today, which seems way too early for a girl who always started the day after Labor Day. Did you look forward to going back to school as a child or were you terrified? Or tell us your plans for the upcoming school year.

A Year Ago

2011-07-27T14:24:00.011-05:00

Our house

A year ago, I was taking a cold shower wondering if we would have to sell the house. I was wondering not because the hot water heater was broken but because my husband was unemployed. It just so happened that the water heater broke two days before he was notified of his lay-off.

A year ago, I was also wondering if we would go into full-time vocational ministry. We had talked on & off through the years about it, especially if something cataclysmic happened. This seemed cataclysmic to me.

A year ago, I was wondering if we would move to Minnesota where all of my family lives.

A year ago, I was wondering how long our savings would last. Would it be enough?

Now, I know the answers to those questions: no, we didn't go into full-time ministry, move to Minnesota, see a zero balance in our bank account, or even try to sell the house.

But last summer, no one could tell me what would happen to us. They could only tell me their stories. Alike but different. No one knew the answers to those questions except One. And He wasn't talking.

My head wanted answers. He knew what my heart needed: the day-by-day practice of trusting Him and of seeing Him work in the big and the little things.

the hydrangeas in our front yard

Eight boxes of food were given to us the same day we had three extra children at our house. They stayed for five days. God gave to us so that we could give to others. My husband and oldest son "just happened" to wait a long time and then be given free doughnuts the first Saturday after the lay-off.

God didn't work in mysterious ways. He worked through a friend showing up at my door with groceries for a nice dinner. She came on a day that I was particularly discouraged. Another friend gave us a gift certificate for a restaurant and an offer for free babysitting. God gave to us abundantly.

Others gave us money. At different times. In different amounts. Because "we love you." All those gifts of money were the reason we didn't see the zero balance in our bank account. We were humbly loved. How sweet it is.

We canceled two trips up north to see family. Through the contrast of ease of travel to then not being able to travel, I saw how sure it was that God swept me up to Minneapolis at just the right time to be there -- at my brother-in-law's side when he took his last breath. He battled cancer for three and a half years. I live nine hundred miles away. Yet, God took me there at that moment. I was able to be with my sister for a week and half just after he died. How thankful I am that I was able to do something and be there when I live 900 miles away. And just as sure as he swept me there and back to Tennessee, I was unable to travel at all for 13 months.

Two canceled trips. He showed me that He is in control when I'm not paying attention (such as the ease to get to Minnesota just six weeks before) and when I am disappointed about rearranged plans. We canceled the enrollment of my oldest two in a writing class. Instead, we hosted a sign language class at our house, which became a treasured memory from last school year. His plan is better than mine.

Peace came through trusting Him. It did not come through answers or even a job. Yes, I was happy and relieved when my husband was offered a job six months later. But relief is not the same as peace.

The tree house that we built last summer and fall.

Today, I am thankful for my husband's job. I am thankful we were able to get back to Minnesota to visit family after a 13 month hiatus. I am thankful for a tree house that we built because of a canceled trip. I am thankful for more ways that God provided than I can list here. I am even thankful for the disappointments and the loss for I have gained something greater than any loss I felt.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..." Philippians 3:8

I am thankful for the lessons learned while we were sailing on the Sea of Saturdays.

May I continue to walk in peace and not relief.

May I continue to know the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus,

Humbly yours,

Kathleen

Welcome Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood from Jen @ Finding Heaven. Link on over there to find more inspiration of God at work.

Do you have a story to tell about looking back and seeing the hand of God work in your life? I would love to hear how God works through you, too.

For those who were wondering...

2011-07-26T13:33:00.001-05:00

...and for those who weren't... the picture in the post prior to this was located in Wisconsin. Congratulations go to the grandma in Vancouver who guessed correctly due to the mouse and cheese! For some reason the upper Midwest loves to make tall statues of various items. And for some reason we love to taking pictures by them.

One day if scan my old photos into the computer, I would have quite a number of photos in front of different statues. Whew! Aren't you glad I haven't put all my photos on the computer?!?

O, Happy Day!

Then & Now

2011-07-25T14:01:00.004-05:00

A quick hello to blog land. We've continued to gallivant around. But in the process I have set my screen saver to be the pictures that I have loaded onto the computer. So we all find ourselves sitting down and looking at our most recent pictures. (I started loading in the middle of 2009.)

Here is a little observation about time flying.

Last summer

This summer

The picture is shot at the same location somewhere on our travels. Does anyone know where we are? Do you have a guess at the state? Do you have a tradition of taking photos at the same place or way each year?

Have a happy day!

Home Again

2011-07-11T21:33:00.011-05:00

Well, well, well. Last time I blogged, I hadn't blogged in three weeks. Now it has been longer than that. We have just arrived home from a 3,000 mile road trip! Whew!

My husband and I attended an Appleseed weekend while the kids visited cousins for a week in Chicago. Then, we all traveled onto Minneapolis where we celebrated a 6 year old birthday, reminisced with high school friends, hugged family, watched my nephew play baseball, rode a Ferris wheel, had a water fight, ate lots of food, enjoyed blue skies with puffy white clouds.

Then we traveled to Northern Minnesota where we camped on an island for three days, drank purple cows, took our picture with Paul Bunyan. For our next stop we drove a little further west to participate in a wedding: a matron of honor, two junior flowermaids, a singer/guitar player, a ring bearer and a reader. We all had a job. We tubed down a river, rehearsed, met some new friends and celebrated with dear friends and danced the night away.

We have managed to arrive home with less tears than expected and lots of sweat! It sure is hot out there (especially when the fan on the van stops blowing!) and we sure are glad to be home!

There were many more memories....hope to post some pictures soon and some new thoughts that are brewing.

Hope y'all are keeping cool in this heat!

With joy, Kathleen

p.s. Welcome Coffee Company sisters....if you're not one...check 'em out HERE.

Here and There *

2011-06-16T16:43:00.011-05:00

*This post has been edited to add a few photos and captions.

Three weeks it has been since I blogged. I have not abandoned nor forsaken the blog. In my three week blogging absence, we have been living life. I will highlight a few of our adventures.

We picked five gallons of strawberries. They were the best tasting strawberries I have ever eaten in my life. We ate a lot of fresh strawberries. I have some puree in the freezer to make into homemade strawberry jelly, hopefully soon.

Our feasting table

We had a Greek feast to celebrate the end of our school year. We hosted some Olympics: we ran around the house 10 times, did the long jump, threw a discus (a frisbee) and a javelin (a Nerf sword), raced chariots (bikes) and thumb wrestled. The oldest prepared the games for the night. The girls prepped the table and helped get dinner on the table. The youngest helped mama secure the goods for the feast at the store. And hubby made leaf wreaths for each of us that we put on our heads after completing the Olympics.

On feast nights, dinner always follows Ken Wojack's** First Rule of Cooking: Make 'Em Wait (because everything tastes better when you're hungry.) We enjoyed tasting Greek feta cheese that was actually from Greece. I was surprised how much all the kids loved it. We also had kalamata olives (which none of the children liked), pita bread, hummus, cucumbers, rotisserie chicken, and baklava. We had each child stand up as we praised what they did this year. I imagined having certificates to give them but instead we simply verbally praised them. The five year old seemed to glow especially bright as he stood up. He is so excited to be in Kindergarten next fall and especially Sparks in AWANA.

"Yes! School is out!"

Though we had the end of the year banquet, we are still 'finishing' school this week. We are logging some math hours and putting the finishing touches on our human body unit, history notebook, field trip notebook, and assembling books they wrote and illustrated this year.

I have started leading a women's Bible study on Colossians with my Teacher's Lounge (TL for short) friends. This is the third time that I have essentially have written the Bible study (two for this group and one time for another group). Love, love, love this writing and leading of Bible studies. Two of some of my top favorite things in life: leading Bible studies and being with these homeschooling friends woven together by God. Though I have many friends that homeschool and many dear friends in life, I am thankful for nearby friends that homeschool, that pursue the Lord, and laugh a lot, too.

I spent one day scrapbooking and completed 11 pages. Sweet number three is now 9 months old in her baby scrapbook (and only 9 years old in life!) Feels good to have made some progress. When I actually return to scrapbooking, it is so good for my soul to reflect on all the good in my life. My hand-written journal processes life. It includes good things, too, but, there is something about seeing photos of laughing children, of me holding my babies, of the older three with huge smiles and all crammed onto hubby's lap that seeps deep into my soul causing it to resonate with gratefulness. I need to put scrapbooking back into my regular routine somehow!

We re-started the garden. Thanks to my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, we can actually see green peppers, beans, and flowers where vegetables will be.

We've been hiking and made friends with Flit, the Butterfly. We went to a Memorial Day service. We made fleischkeuckle and visited with a brother-in-law and sister-in-law that were in-town. We've been to a $1 summer movie. And we've been staying home! It seems I could have had more time to blog lately with a freer schedule but I've been decompressing from our usual fast-paced spring that included the adjustment of two new jobs --one for hubby and one for me. (Mine was part-time and is done for the summer. Thankfully hubby's is on-going!). Also, we're still transitioning from the spring school schedule to the summer schedule which hasn't really seemed to settle in, yet. Before we know it, it will be time to start up school again.

So here's to hanging onto these fleeting moments of life while I can. Hope everyone has a joyful day.
Joyfully,
--Kathleen

Joining the girls for Company Coffee at Home Sanctuary. Click HERE to read more entries.

** My husband learned the first rule of cooking years ago when we were vacationing with my parents for a long weekend in Arizona. He taught my husband how to make omelets and this was the first rule of cooking that he shared with my hubby. I don't know if my dad remembers saying it but we have quoted it often since that time.

A persistent pink petunia

2011-05-25T11:45:00.004-05:00

In the potted plants on my patio there lives a persistent pink petunia. It insists on growing and blooming without any assistance from me, a newbie gardener.

I purchased a bunch of flowers late this spring. I potted them. I arranged them all nice and neat and pretty. I placed the pots along the fence where I park the van. Each time I would enter and leave the drive way, I enjoyed the pretty flowers.

Soon I noticed one pot with a pink petunia in it. I thought, "How pretty" and "My how it has grown." Then, I realized that I didn't purchase any pink petunias this year! This one must have grown from last summer's crop.

There were two pots which I didn't use but didn't take the time to empty out last year's dirt. Besides, one of them had some kind of white flowers growing in it. So I set them aside to deal with later-- which turned out to be not at all.

But the code of the seed planted in the dirt worked in spite of me. Now when all the other petunias have died away and there are only vincas left in the pots, there is a pretty pink petunia with several flowers on its stem.

I benefit not only from the beauty of the flower but also from the message of persistence. It follows the code placed inside of it by the Lord. He who began a good work inside the seed of the flower has also begun a good work inside of me that He will complete -- even in spite of me -- if He needs to.

I see it every time I get in and out of my car -- the pretty pink persistent petunia. Thank you Lord.

Inspired from the pages of my journal dated September 4, 2008
and also from Philippians 1:6

Also linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven for the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood. Check it out for more inpsiration.

* * * *

Have you ever been inspired by a lesson in nature?

On Fathers Reading to Childern

2011-05-15T22:00:00.000-05:00

I read recently that seventy percent of all incarcerated inmates enter prison illiterate.

A long time ago, I heard a scenario described on the radio. A card company donated Mother's Day cards to a prison. The inmates could chose a card and mail it off to their mom. This idea went over much better than anticipated. If I remember correctly, the card company made at least two more deliveries of cards because there was so much interest.

They were a bit stunned at the interest but they were also spurred on. Since the Mother's Day cards were such a hit, the company decided to provide cards for Father's Day as well.

But...not a single inmate sent a card to their father for free.

Not just a lot less interest. No one mailed a card on Father's Day. This speaks volumes.

How much of the world could be changed by a father taking the time to read to his children?

A simple, almost daily act could change a child's life. Reading to children inspires a desire to read, exposes to new ideas, provides a time for touch, connection, and a way to say that the child is important.

The father of my children (just for the record -- he is also my husband) reads to them most every day. Even the twelve-year-old boy who dreams of adventures and moving out on his own, and who can read 20 books in a few days, loves to be read to by his father (and his mother, too).

I knew it was a gift how much their father loves them.

But perhaps it is an even greater gift than I realized that the highlight of our day is daddy reading aloud to the children.

* * * *

What about you? Do you think it could change the world to have fathers read most every day to their children?

My Mother

2011-05-08T09:09:00.002-05:00

My Mother

My mother and father with my four children. Jan 2011

My mother is a family woman.
My mother works hard.
My mother likes to laugh.
She knits, she bowls, she golfs.
She is organized, plans, and is always on time. She never procrastinates.
She keeps a neat, orderly home.
One of her favorite things is to have all her children -- including in-laws & grandchildren -- around her. Family is important to my mother. She spoke that to me. She modeled that for me.

Though my procrastination and struggle to be on-time was/is hard on her (I'm still trying...), I did catch the importance of family.

One of my favorite things is to be with family.

Happy Mother's Day to you and yours. For some this day is a struggle, click on this link, if you need encouragement for the day.

For what are you thankful in your mother?

The Tension in the Becoming

2011-04-29T08:44:00.007-05:00

I'm linking up with Five Minute On Fridays where we throw caution (editing, revising, and worrying) to the winds and just write for five minutes. Without wondering if it’s just right or not.

Today's Prompt: If I knew I could, I would....

GO:

If I knew I could, I would get up earlier than my children every day. I would run 2-5 miles. I would have my own time reading the Bible and praying. Then, I would start breakfast. I would greet each child as they awoke with a smile and a hug. They would feel great because their mama had started the day before them.

I would have had enough rest so that my temper would stay hidden inside of me forever. I would always be patient, always be kind. I would always be looking into every teachable moment and do it with grace. When they fuss and yell, I would always respond in the responsible manner never stooping to act like their age.

I would look them in the eye. They would always know that they are truly the most important people in my life. Never a doubt. I would still be fun and yet be on task for our duties for the day. I would embrace the moment always.

As I listen to my list, I hear myself sound like a perfect woman -- a perfect mama. For them, I wish I could be perfect so that they would have only good and no harm from me. But, alas, I am not perfect. And God calls me to delight in my weaknesses and in my insults for His power is perfected in weakness. (II Corinthians 12:9-10). And as they watch me walk out my imperfect life perhaps that is what gives them the most hope because they, too, will have to learn to walk their imperfect lives, too.

STOP

Welcome to those who have come to visit from Five Minutes on Fridays. And Hello to Friday's Company Girls at Rachel Anne's Home Sanctuary.

How about you? What would you do if you knew you could?

You can answer in your thoughts, the comments, or in a blog post and link up with the Five Minute on Friday folks.

It looks beautiful here after a week of storms, it is nice to see the sun. I'm off soon to pick up my runner's packet for the Country Music Half Marathon today. Woo-hoo. Hopefully the weather will be nice for the race tomorrow.

Have a wonderful Friday.

Unto the Hills by Billy Graham

2011-04-26T00:00:00.001-05:00

"Discouragement stems from disbelief." Billy Graham describes some situations of how it looks when we are just not trusting God when we're in difficult circumstances. As he described some scenarios, I agreed wholeheartedly. I thought, "Yes, I totally see that in my friend. She just needs to believe God!"

And then, I got discouraged. I was feeling down and out as I wiped off the counter. Into my mind popped, "Discouragement stems from disbelief." Wow. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks when it was aimed at me. I couldn't see what I wasn't believing God for. I don't remember what I was discouraged about now but I sure remember the conviction that came when this little thought popped into my head.

It wasn't apparent to me what I wasn't trusting God for in my own situation but it sure was easy to see it in someone else. So, I asked the Lord to show me where I wasn't trusting Him. "Help me in my unbelief."

This is just one example of how I am enjoying the devotional Unto the Hills by Billy Graham that has been re-released for a new generation of believers. The tone is calm, steady and soothing even though at times it is convicting. The format starts with a Bible verse written in full at the top. There is an anecdote or some thoughts on the subject, many times with additional Bible verses in the main text. Each day's entry concludes with a prayer. I have particularly enjoyed the prayers at the end of each entry.

As an interesting aside, I actually like to look up the verses in my own Bible rather than having them printed out for me. I look them up and write them down in a notebook. Often, I will read and write some of the surrounding verses as well. I usually do this before I read the entry for the day. Often I am encouraged by something that the author has to say but I do enjoy the direct time with God, too.

I highly recommend this devotional to others, especially for those seeking a guide for daily Bible readings.

* * * *

How about you? Have you ever used this devotional or another that you would recommend to others?

* * * *

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

* * * *
I am also linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven for the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.
Welcome if you are visiting from there.
If you're not visiting from there you should click on over and visit them.

He has risen, just as He said

2011-04-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

"The angel said to the women, 'Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples. " Matthew 28: 5-7a

Happy Easter to you and yours.

Joyfully,
Kathleen

The release program has begun

2011-04-18T00:00:00.006-05:00

A few weeks ago, the oldest rode his bike to the store to buy 1/4 inch rope. The release program has begun. His cheeks were glowing. He was so excited to have ventured forth. Found his way -- back and forth.

As a mom the what-ifs creep in: what-if someone snatched him. What if he got injured? What if he got lost? What if a dog attacked him? Was it the right decision to let him go?

But yet, I, too am in danger every time I venture forth: what if someone snatched me, what if a dog bit me? What if I was in an accident? I, too, venture forth in a myriad of horrible possibilities every day. Usually they don't happen.

When I voice my fear or what I've done to other moms, we share the most, worst awful horrible story that has ever happened to us or our neighbor or that we have read about. And that feeds my fear.

But, truly, one day he needs to live on his own and be the protector of the weak. Oh, I know he is young. But I also know that when I was his age, I biked and biked and biked all over. I loved the exhilaration. It was good for my imagination, my exercise, my sense of direction, my independence.

And so it is good for his imagination, his exercise, his sense of direction, his independence.

We are beginning the release. After all, we are raising adults not children.

How about any of you? Do you have any release tips from your own parenting or your own growing up years? I am all ears!

Jen @ Finding Heaven for Soli Deo Sisterhood. Come and join the encouragement.

Tips from the Trenches: On Toilet Paper

2011-04-14T01:00:00.006-05:00

A little tip from the trenches today. In an effort to be more frugal and also because some folks gave us some toilet paper, I decided to no longer be married to one brand of toilet paper. I listened to the frugal folks. They say, "Buy what's on sale; buy generic; don't be loyal to brands."

So I did just that. I switched to a cheaper brand.

Not only did I get less expensive toilet paper, I also received some great, new parenting advice through the experience. I haven't seen it in any parenting books or expert columns and certainly not upon the frugal blogs that gave the tip about not being loyal to brands. I understood that brand loyalty gets you in trouble with the frugal bottom line.

I have a problem, though. The great parenting advice and the frugal advice have a conflict.

Frugal says: Buy what's on sale.

The pretty azaleas in our front yard.

Great parenting advices says: Don't switch toilet paper brands if you have kids.

We have used a brand that is quite thin. For years. I have four children.

I switched to a thicker, softer toilet paper. It was cheaper but the frugal skeptic in me wondered if it would last as long because it was thicker.

Did I mention that I have kids?

They didn't make an adjustment to how much toilet paper they were using.

A plunger now lives next to the toilet.

Do I need to say more?

I am brand loyal again to the original toilet paper that I used to buy and the plunger still lives next to the toilet.

The things they didn't tell me at my baby showers! Don't switch toilet paper if you have kids.

But now I know. And so do you!

* * * *
I am linking up with Leila & Rosie at Like Mother, Like Daughter today. It is a favorite blog of mine and is on my sidebar. Leila is a homeschooling mother of eight (she has launched 7) with practical, real advice.

Welcome to any visitors from Like Mother, Like Daughter and to all who stop by today. Thanks for reading.

The link-up is suppose to be more pictures of happy, pretty, funny, real and not necessarily words. But, we don't have a digital camera so time sensitive photos that tie-in into my blog posts just can't happen easily. But I thought that this story would tie into being real and funny. I did add a picture of the azaleas in our front yard from last spring. But that same bush is blooming right now!

I hope you enjoy linking up and enjoying other stories of pretty, happy, funny, real. Come and join us!

Also linking up with the Coffee Company girls at Home Sanctuary. I truly enjoy the camaraderie from this group!

* * * *

And to tie back into my blog post:

How about you? Do you have any tips from the trenches of life?

My new friend, Morning

2011-04-03T22:58:00.014-05:00

I am becoming friends with Morning. There was a time when we were enemies.

For many years, duty demanded that I get up. The alarm went off. I went through the motions and then I took off for the day. Then, the days of little ones surrounded me. Their hungry bellies compelled me to get up and feed them.

But, I have always delighted in the night time hours -- anytime after 9 p.m. During high school, I stayed up late reading. Then came college when I stayed up late talking & talking & talking. Most of my closest friends in college were made during those late night talks.

Over the years of parenting, I have realized that my late night tendencies and my Morning avoidance were a detriment to mothering well. So there has been a lot of angst and push and pull to get up earlier.

There have been bouts of pushing myself to get up earlier, no matter what. I just need to do this. But, after a couple of months of getting up earlier and only rarely going to bed earlier, I would crash and burn, usually punctuated by sickness.

I would feel so much guilt. I began to set up Morning (as in getting-up-early-in-the-morning) as an idol, a cure-all for all of my failings & down-falls. There was too much pressure on Morning to deliver me from all of my short-comings.

Most of the time, I would get rolling slowly in the morning. When the expectations of the day and the reality of the day would come crashing in on me, I would feel guilty for sleeping in. I would lose my temper easily with my children.

Resolved to do better, I would get up early the next day. And lo, and behold, I was still be quick to lose my temper with my children.

Getting up early didn't solve all my problems!

I was in a lose-lose situation.

I had to get out of thinking that Morning would save me. No, Jesus saved me. Getting up early in the morning would not solve all my problems.

So, oddly enough, the first real step in becoming true friends with Morning was avoiding her, ignoring her. Don't look at the clock. Just get up and do your routine. No pressure.

Then, as time went on. I saw the need to get going earlier. The need to lead the children. When I went to bed earlier, sometimes I awoke on my own. Most of the time, I don't.

Finally, Morning and I have made peace.

I am not seeking to save my soul (or my parenting) via Morning. I don't hate Morning anymore. I have even liked Mornings on certain days!

What a shocking thing to say! What? Me, the night owl? Known for keeping crazy, late hours? How could I like Morning!?! (It was just as shocking for me to say: I like cooking but that is another story related to the one HERE.)

Morning and I now have a few wonderful shared moments together. Not a lot. But a few. And I found out that I like her!

This, this Morning that I have hated so long. I like her. She forgives me when I stay away for days and days. Just as happy to see me as if I had been there every day.

She is nice like that.

What does this look like? Probably on the outside about the same as it did before. Some days I get up and get going. Some days I snooze the alarm again and again. There are days I have even slept through my alarm. But, occasionally I wake before the alarm and have a beautiful time with Morning.

I have made peace with Morning.

We're in the early stages of building a friendship. I don't know that Morning & I will ever be kindred spirits. But at least we are becoming friends. And I think I like it.

* * *

How about you? Are you friends with Morning?

A few of my favorite things

2011-04-01T22:49:00.008-05:00

A few of my favorite things: sunshiny days, my four children smiling, dancing with my husband in the kitchen, a full refrigerator. These are just a few of my favorite things.

Unplanned days, birds singing, the sunset over a lake.

Great conversation with old friends that really know you. Music that inspires me to create something of my own. That stirs the creativity in me.

New friends. Discovering new stories. Bible studies. Flowers. Easy going friends with loving expectations of me (which means that I can meet them. )

Being finished with a hard thing. The sweet, reward after a hard labor -- whether it is the end of a run, finishing teaching a lesson, or making that difficult phone call.

Cozy blankets on a cool day. Iced coffee in the shade on a hot day.

Digging deep into the Bible, sharing what God is teaching us day by day. These are a few of my favorite things. This topic: a few of my favorite things causes me to write in fragments & not sentences.

Pens, pencils. Time to think. A slow, leisurely pace with no missed deadlines.

Moments where I am all in the moment of where I am. Not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday. When I fully live in the moment, that is definitely a favorite thing.

* * * *
This is part of the Gypsy Mama's Five Minutes on Friday -- to write for five minutes where it doesn't need to be right. I thought I had time for at least that this week.

Also linking up with Rachel Anne at Home Sanctuary for Company Girl Coffee.

* * * *
What are some of your favorite things?

My friend Melanie

2011-03-25T09:50:00.003-05:00

I saw her walking across the playground by the ball field all by herself.

My friend Melanie.

Melanie: the one who befriended the girl who no one else would talk to. So now no one talked to her.

Including me.

Even though....

. . . we had laughed together at each other's houses. Even though we'd been to each other's birthday parties, worked on school projects together, and even talked about God into the wee hours of the morning. We had shared our hearts.

Even though she was my friend. I ignored her.

We had met in the third grade when a mutual friend introduced us. My friend found Melanie on the playground because she beat up the boys. Melanie came to our rescue. I don't remember any bruises or anything. I think it was mostly that she was tall and unafraid. But either way, after that, the boys left us alone.

The following year, Melanie & I were in the same class. Everyone in the class had fun together. We were all friends that year. Fourth grade was a wonderful year.

But that was the fourth grade and this was the sixth grade. Things had changed. Different rules applied.

Melanie talked to the girl. You know the one. The one no one talked to. Not only did Melanie talk to her, she sat by her at lunch. She befriended her. Therefore, sixth grade rules applied. You talk to her, no one talks to you.

So, no one talked to Melanie, including me.

I missed her. But I wanted more than one friend. I wanted us all to be friends. Honestly, I didn't even know if I liked the girl we weren't suppose to like or not. I just knew I didn't want to be shunned. So I didn't talk to her or to Melanie. Even though I wanted to.

Instead, I hung out with the cool people.

Until that day: the one where I noticed Melanie walking around the playground all by herself.

Now, I wish it could be said that I had noticed her all by herself for a good reason. Even the girl that she had befriended didn't appreciate her and had run off to hang with someone else. And Melanie was alone. I would like to say that is why I noticed her.

But it wasn't.

It was because it was my turn that day to be shunned.

That day the cool people decided it was my turn. No one was to talk to me. At first, I was wondering if it was happening. We were in class after all. But once we were all at lunch and recess, it was quite obvious that no one was talking to me.

I pestered Lynn again and again and again. "What did I do?" I was quite bothered that I had done something wrong. Finally, Lynn told me, "You didn't do anything wrong. We just wanted to see what you would do if everyone ignored you."

Really?

I walked away.

That's when I saw Melanie across the playground, walking all by herself in the empty baseball diamond.

The one who stood by the girl when no one else did.

The one who welcomed the new girls to school even when the new girls didn't keep being her friend.

The one who laughed with me.

The one who shared secrets with each other and no one else.

The one who introduced me to the sacred truth.

She was alone. And I now I knew this truth, too: One true friend is way better than a whole crowd of cool people. That I knew.

What I didn't know was if I had lost my chance to be friends with Melanie. I didn't deserve to be her friend. I had ignored her for weeks. I had hurt her. I was ashamed.

Nevertheless, I walked up to her across the playground. I don't remember what words I used or if I ever asked to be forgiven. But I do know that she walked back across the playground with me that day. And I felt forgiven.

We were both smiling.

That time wasn't the only bump in the road of our friendship. There were other times we hurt one another. But never intentionally again.

Me & My friend Melanie, last summer (yes the image is a little fuzzy).
When I can scan an old photo of us I'll come back and edit to have a then & now photo.

She has been a true friend to this very day. My friend Melanie. The friend I have had the longest.

One true friend was better than the cool crowd. I'm glad I learned that lesson in the sixth grade.

* * * *

How about you? Do you have life lessons that you learned in the sixth grade? Have you had a true friend like Melanie in your life? What have you learned about friendship through the years?

Linking up for some Company Girl Coffee HERE at Home Sanctuary.
Come & join us. It's fun. Or simply clicking on the blog hop below makes it even easier.

On Waiting for Spring

2011-03-18T10:55:00.009-05:00

The trees in our backyard: photo by my Firstborn.

On waiting....

On waiting for spring. In the dark, dreary, gray-clouded season of winter, I have been waiting for spring. At first winter is glorious, some snow. A chance to hunker down early for the night. To expect less of myself.

But then, one day there is a bright, sunshiny day in the midst of winter, reminding me that spring will come again. I look forward to it. It gets gray again. Then, I want spring. The next nice spring-like day comes again. And I rejoice in it. I revel in it. I'm so glad that it is here.

"Spring is here," I announce to myself. Then, it is gray and dreary again for it is only February. And remember the groundhog? He himself declared 6 more weeks of winter. I settle in and stop wishing for spring.

It is too hard to endure the gray & dreary days of February as I long for bright sunshine filled days of spring. Warm days with no coat. Warm days with no bugs in it yet. But it is too hard so I resolve not to think about spring anymore.

Then somewhere down deep in my heart, I find I have stopped waiting for spring. I stopped hoping.

And then, my five-year-old bursts through the door shouting, "Mommy, mommy." I think someone has been hurt. But no he is just running to bring me the first dandelion of spring. "Mommy this is for you." He says with his bright-grin.

The azaleas from our front yard last spring: photo by Kathleen.

And I am surprised. How can it be spring? How can something be growing? In the waiting, I failed to keep hoping. And now I am surprised by spring. Can it be here already? How can there be buds on the trees and daffodils in the ditches? It crept up unawares when I stopped waiting.

*****

What are you waiting for? Or have you stopped waiting

***

Today's post was inspired by Gypsy Mama's Five Minute on Friday writing prompt: On waiting. I found her blog through the Fan the Flame blog.

I decided to dive in and try this. And, actually, I was kind of surprised at the five minutes of writing that I did. After my five minutes of writing, I did edit two spelling words and add some quotation marks. But otherwise, this is what I came up with in five minutes of writing on this Friday, March 18 for the prompt: On waiting.

(From the Gypsy Mama's blog: This is the place where once a week we take the chance to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not.
For five minutes flat.

Here’s how the game works: you simply stop, drop and write. Set your words free. Don’t edit them, don’t fret over them, don’t try to make them perfect.).

Join us over HERE and perhaps you'll be surprised with what you can do in five minutes, too.

Today

2011-03-11T10:34:00.010-06:00

Today.

Today is the first time I remember seeing the sun in several days. The sunshine always help my mood.

Today we have no place to go. I am still in my robe and glasses. (Well, I was when I began this post but not now.) I am so thankful for a day with nothing already planned. Life has been packed. And the days ahead are packed with good things. I'm thankful for an unpacked day.

Today, I awoke to hear devastating news: an earthquake hit Japan and tsunami waves are still racing around the globe. My sister-in-law is from Japan. I'm thankful her family is from a different side of the island. I cannot fathom the devastation of it all or how terrifying it would be to experience this. My heart and prayers go out to the many people impacted. It is hard to absorb the magnitude of yet another disaster.

Today I am wishing that I was on the other side of training. I'm glad to be training. I am feeling some benefit to training (in several areas besides just physically). But, I still can feel my muscles growing. It's not always easy. I'm not to where these habits are completed without thinking. Actually, I am still giving a lot of energy to start them each day.

The good news is that momentum is growing on some new good routines that I have desired for a long time. I want them. I like this place better than before I started. But this new training schedule combined with a very packed schedule brings me to this Friday feeling a bit weary. I am hoping that having an easier day and enjoying the sunshine and the grace of God will be enough to keep pressing on.

This seems so small in comparison to having to deal with real tragedy, real crisis, like in Japan.

May God's grace and peace go with each of us today whether we need Him in small ways (like me) or in huge ways (like those in Japan.)

For some more Company Girl Coffee, click HERE.

Land ho!

2011-03-03T14:04:00.014-06:00

We have crossed the Sea of Saturdays and landed on dry ground. We were sailing for six months, almost to the day. On July 12, 2010, my husband was notified that he was laid off. On January 13, 2011, my husband received a job offer. We've been walking on the shore for six weeks. We have land legs again.

Sweet Number Three sent this with her daddy
on the first day of work at his new job.

We're learning to walk in this country of New Jobs. It is more familiar than sailing on the Ship of Unemployment. For instance, taking the trash out on Tuesday nights has fallen back into place with no effort. The second evening that Daddy comes home in the week equals taking the dumpster to the curb. This is familiar.

Whew! There is much relief in going to work five days a week. But relief is not the same as peace. In the first weeks, I found myself overwhelmed at managing the new schedule and what is to come. I was relying on the relief of having a new job and not on the peace of God. How quickly lessons learned of trusting Him for the unseen flitter away.

Adjustments are still necessary. Husband leaves an hour and a half earlier than the last 17 years. On the happy side, he is home earlier. I have wanted that for a long time.

But....I am well entrenched to a late night schedule. Maybe one day we'll be all done with school, the table set, and dinner ready when Daddy comes home. Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I'm aiming for that.

In the meantime, I'm working on a smile to greet him, no matter how behind I'm feeling and no matter how many things on the to-do list won't get done today. In the midst of the dinner crunch, I want to smile. A smile. That's all. Baby steps, you know.

I wouldn't trade sailing on the sea of Saturdays in the ship of Unemployment.

I didn't ask for it. I don't know that I would have asked for it or will ask for it again.

However, I am thankful. I am thankful for the sweetness of the Lord during the last six months. I am thankful for free babysitting, boxes of groceries, job leads, new contacts, encouraging cards and a myriad of other ways that we felt supported and loved these last six months.

I'm still musing about lessons learned.

In the meantime, we're all thankful for Daddy's new job.

Have you ever been thankful for difficulty in your life? Do you have anything that you are rejoicing over today?

Would you like to read some more encouraging words? Join Jen @ Finding Heaven for:

February Top Posts

2011-02-28T20:55:00.004-06:00

A few months ago Blogger added a feature where I can analyze the stats of my blog. I find it interesting and enjoy looking at it. I mean if a writer writes and no one reads it, did they really write it? I'm greatly encouraged when I know someone has read it and had some sort of reaction to it. Love it!

I am not yet a prolific blogger, by any means. And yet, I find it interesting that two of the top five posts -- every week -- were written months ago. Fascinating to me, at least and probably the most interesting to me, too.

Just in case you would like to know, here are the

Top 5 Posts for the Month of February for Kath Ink:

1) Enough? posted on February 25, 2010

2) Carole Joy Seid Inspires Again posted on August 19, 2010

3) A Different Kind of Help posted on February 8, 2010

4) In the Middle of a Five Mile Run posted on January 29, 2010

5) A Transformation Has Taken Place posted on December 3, 2010

I wrote the Carole Joy Seid post in August after attending her homeschool conference. That post continues to be a top post for me time and time again. My blog comes up when someone does a search on her name.

Originally I didn't write much about homeschooling. But since that seems to be a topic that drives some to look at my blog occasionally, I have plans to write some more posts about it as I go. It makes sense since I spend much of my time either educating, or reading about education, or tutoring for a part-time job.

Imagine that? I was on the right track when I first declared an Elementary Education major in college. I changed my course many times and walked out with a degree but not in education. I really do love to teach. It doesn't matter too much the topic -- Bible studies, Sunday school, ancient history, or even the pythagorean theorem. So between realizing that it is of interest to others and myself...I guess I''ll write some more about it!

How about you? Do you analyze statistics for your blog? Has it changed the direction of your blog any?

Enough?

2011-02-25T10:56:00.009-06:00

Is it enough? I keep asking this question.

When I asked it aloud to two of my Teacher Lounge friends, one of them asked, "What else do you think you should be doing?"

What a clarifying moment!

I don't want to do more. I am tired as it is. The to-do list is over-whelming at least it is when I dare to look at it. Most folks I know feel the same way -- busy and tired. Our 21st century American culture breeds stress. I'm not unique in this. But what is it that I'm really trying to ask?

I didn't know. The question kept creeping back in even after the clarifying moment.

"Am I doing enough?"

Most of it comes from homeschooling. Are we doing enough math? English? science? history? Art? Phy Ed?

I needed a better question. A better question will lead to a better answer. I disagree with the adage that there are no bad questions. There are better questions than others.

I remind my children of this often. When I hear from them, I want to know that they have thought about what they need. They need to come up with some possible solutions before they ask me instead of simply relying on me to guide them in everything. I want them to think.

I needed to think. If I am not doing enough, than my solution will be to do more. My time is limited. I can only do so much. I don't want to do more.

So a better question would be: Am I doing the right things? Am I doing the best things with the time that I have?

This leads to other questions, especially in light of homeschooling. What skills do they need to have? Can I assess their math and English skills and make sure that they are at grade level? What skills do they need to be successful adults? What kind of character traits are we building? Am I focusing the bulk of our time on the really important stuff?

One good question has lead me to more questions that help me to make decisions.

The accusatory "Am I doing enough?" question only seemed to stir up the guilt of falling short.

I like this new angle better. "Am I doing the right things?"

Though I don't really have any more answers than when I started (I actually have more questions now!), I am on a more peaceful path. It is a better path because it's headed in a more acheivable direction.

I would love to hear your insight. Have you had a clarifying moment lately? Have you asked a better question? What are some of the guiding principles you apply in your family to decide what activities to participate in or not?

I am linking up with Company Coffee today, join us in the conversation.

Rubber-band expansion

2011-02-22T00:01:00.001-06:00

Near the end of the journey in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader as the travelers get close to the edge of the world, the light keeps getting brighter. They all have to expand their capacity to take in so much sun light.

I have been feeling that way. My capacity for absorbing all the good things in my life has needed to be expanded. This steady increase of being pulled in different directions has been drawing me out over time. Last April I felt pulled in new directions in my motherhood. I remember telling a friend that I don't think I can do it anymore. Not sure what it was. But I didn't think that I could keep on, keeping on with the normal, good, every day stuff.

No crisis. Just pulled. Stretched.

I sure didn't know that in a few days after making that comment, I would be further drawn-out as I went away for almost three weeks to help my sister while my husband flew solo at home. This was also before we were notified that my husband would lose his job. Yes, again more stretching.

I felt like a rubber band pulled tight. For a very long time. With no relaxing it to let the band return to its relaxed state.

Now, I realize that my capacity was being expanded for this new season of motherhood that I am entering. My capacity is now a new size of rubber band.

But really, it is not my capacity at all. It is the Lord's capacity working through me. In this fullness of many good things, He reminds me that I can't do it all. That trying harder just won't work. Instead, I need Him. Need Him to help me with all these things that are pulling me in many directions.

Directions that He has lead me to. He is here. In the midst of our many good things. Like a faithful Father, He began to expand my capacity last spring. For I think there is even more I am juggling now. Just as He gave those Narnian voyagers time to be able to absorb more light. So He is expanding me. But not expanded enough to think that I can do it without Him.

Have you felt expanded in new directions lately? Have you sensed God's faithful provision in it?

Be Kind

2011-02-19T23:35:00.010-06:00

Be kind to those who are young,
they have a long way to go.

Be kind to those who are old,
they have come a long way.

Be kind to those who are in the middle,

they are the ones busy doing all the work.

--Saying on the wall of a hospital

Basically: be kind to everyone. Can you relate to this quote that I saw on the wall of a hospital a few years ago? I am definitely in the middle.

Which category are you in?

A Different Kind of Help

2011-02-08T00:01:00.004-06:00

I invited my husband to run with me two Saturdays ago. Then, I sent him away. With a scowl.

"Go on. Run ahead of me."

He turned his head toward me. He gave me a funny look. He ran a few steps ahead and said, "Like this?"

"No," I said, unpleasantly. "Keep on running. Stride out."

He did.

He ran ahead. With a puzzled look on his face. He came back, checked on me, and continued to run ahead.

"Uh-oh," I wondered. Would I be in trouble with my husband? I did invite him and then proceeded to send him away. And not very kindly either.

What compelled me to do that?

Was it my youngest of five, independent, "Do it Self" attitude that needed to prove something that sent him away?

Was it that during high school cross country races I ran by myself?

Or was it that he was w.a.l.k.i.n.g. while I "ran"?

Once he was ahead of me, my gasps for breath were no longer magnified against his walking self beside me. When he was next to me, I heard each clunky step of mine next to his quiet stride. The comparison slowed my steps, making my effort seem even harder.

When he went ahead of me, I looked up.

I began to imagine my stride as more graceful. Instead of the fitness gap between us discouraging me, I began to be inspired.

I will never run as fast as my husband even if he was not in shape and I was. He is male and talented. I am female. I run long and slow.

But watching him run fast stirs me to keep training so that I'll be as fit as I can be. It doesn't have to be the same pace as him.

I liked having him ahead of me more than next to me.

How odd this struck me, at first.

But as I pondered why I liked having him ahead of me. I realized that this was a different kind of help. An inspirational kind of help instead of the in-the-trenches sort of help.

And this is true in my daily life as well.

I need friends who are running the race at the same pace and the same effort AND I also need people ahead of me, showing me the possibility of what can be done.

I need both: the trudging-right-alongside-me friends and the way-up-ahead friends.

How about you? Do you need both kinds of friends in your life? Do you have an example of someone in your life that encourages you more by watching him (or her) run ahead of you than if they were right beside you?

Joyfully,
Kathleen

p.s. Thankfully, the hubby wasn't offended in my sending him away. I was still credited with the points of inviting him along for a run.

p.p.s. I promise that this is not becoming a running blog -- at the very least my next post idea has nothing to do with running.

ppps Thanks for coming for Company Coffee and go HERE to read more.

In the Middle of a Five Mile Run

2011-01-28T00:01:00.005-06:00

In the middle of a five mile run I am a crazy woman and I think crazy thoughts.

I think, "I could run forever because I feel so good."

I think, "Sugar? Who needs it. I'm done with it forever."

Then as I huff and puff at the end of my run, I wonder when it will be done. Will I ever finish? I slug it out. I do finish. (See? I'm not still running but rather writing a blog post).

Soon after I am home, I find that brownie. You know that brownie, full of sugar, that I could take or leave for the rest of my life during my run?!?

Usually those wild ideas happen in the middle of the run but last week they followed me home. As I looked into the bathroom mirror, I thought, "Wow. My waist already looks smaller." (I am only three weeks or so into my new determination to exercise.) Since I had already stopped moving, reality hit much sooner: I may have lost a few pounds but we can't see it yet.

How do such preposterous ponderings gain such credibility in my mind? A myriad of ideas fall into my mind throughout the day -- whether or not I'm running -- but it's those five mile run thoughts that get me convinced. Those are the ones I believe.

Then, it comes as a shock: I am surprised that it's hard to finish the run. (Didn't I just think: I could run forever?). I am tempted so mightily to eat a brownie. (Wait...I thought I gave that up forever?) My stretch jeans fit snugly. (How can this be? I looked smaller!)

It's as if the five mile run almost makes me believe it. Not three or two miles. Not one. Not six or seven. But it is the five mile run thoughts that get the most credit. Is this part of the runner's high? Or some other strange phenomena?

What do you think? Do you have crazy five mile run thoughts? Perhaps somewhere else besides a five mile run?

Have a great weekend!
Kathleen

I'm linking up for some Company Girl Coffee here.

A love letter

2011-01-25T00:01:00.005-06:00

This date -- January 25th -- holds much meaning for me. It is the day that I received the most beautiful love letter I have ever received.

May I always remember.

What do you have that you always want to remember?

Overflowing with thankfulness,

Kathleen

Colossians 2:6-7

Unexpected change realizes long-awaited dream

2011-01-21T14:40:00.002-06:00

Perhaps it began when I first saw The Swiss Family Robinson and the really cool tree house in that movie. Or perhaps it happened the first time I ever climbed the Tree Climbing Tree in the backyard of my childhood home. I don't really know when it began but I have always dreamed of having a tree house.

Even when we moved into this house nine years ago, the mature trees were a selling point. They were strong enough and shaped properly upon which we could build a tree house . We talked about building a tree house a lot. We gave our oldest son the book How to Build Treehouses, Huts & Forts. We wrote Build a Tree House on our To-Do List.

Oh, we didn't write it on the Every Day To-Do List nor the Responsible Human Being List. But rather, we wrote it down on our Fun Projects List. You know the one --the wish list that we never really seem to have time for.

Instead, we get caught up in our every day lives. In some really good things. Like going to baseball games, dance recitals, and birthday parties. We attempt to keep up with meals, laundry, and school. Then there are the things we need to do, such as write the mortgage check, fix the kitchen sink, and occasionally bring a meal to someone who just had a baby.

Yet, time marches on each day, not really mindful of my Wish List. (How dare it?) I have black lines on my to do lists that make me feel productive. Yet I rarely cross off items on my Wish List. I suppose it is because those Everyday and Really Need To Do lists are never fully "done." Their on-going nature makes getting to the Wish List seem impossible and impractical. There is always something else I should be doing.

And then the unexpected happens. Something to slow us down. My husband lost his job. We canceled a vacation. We stayed home to several weeks of No Plans. (I clear the calendar before and after a trip to prepare before and decompress after.)

My husband wrote down Build the Tree House. Bigger this time. We took some of that canceled vacation money and a gift card to Home Depot and began to build.

We set aside some of the items on The I Really Need To Do List. Our hot water heater had broken. On the first trip to the store to buy lumber, my husband and son saw someone else loading a hot water heater onto their truck. They chuckled and said, "That's what we should be doing this weekend." But instead they started to build the long-awaited dream.

It was worth a few extra cold showers to provide stress relief from the job hunt. All four children swung a hammer at some point. The girls would often provide snacks for the workers. Jack watched from his perch up in the tree. I took pictures.

Now, it was a quick sentence -- we canceled vacation. It took time to make the decision. The next time we've planned for all of my husband's family to be together isn't until Christmas 2011. That was more than a year from then. We were disappointed.

But I am thankful for a Built Tree House. It was built because we stayed home. I love how it took a stressful, challenging thing (job loss) to allow us the time to realize the dream of a twelve-year-old boy's mom and dad.

I am thankful for blessings in disguise. How about you?

I am linking up with Rachel Anne's Company Girl Coffee today. Click here to participate.

Erase the Inward Groan or Enjoy Reading to your Preschoolers

2011-01-18T08:18:00.005-06:00

Welcome to anyone who has come to visit from Jamie's Avant Garde Parent blog. I'm glad you're here.

I love to read to my children. Reading aloud is an important and a large component of our homeschooling days. Today I have written a guest post about the key element of loving to read to our children with no inward groan at Avant Garde Parenting. Check it out here.

If you went and read that post, you will appreciate that I read Big Red Barn last night to all four of the children. Usually daddy gets the evening read aloud slot, but he was on a deadline to finish a project. So I had that privilege. My oldest said, "I remember when you read that book all the time. And you could say it by memory. " And then the best part was that he said, "I love that book."

I replied, "Me, too."

So we read Big Red Barn, which they helped me quote when I paused. Then we read Go, Dog, Go by P.D. Eastman. (Another book we read a lot in the days after clearing off the book shelf.) Then we dove into the big chapter book that needs discussion for the older three to understand it all.

With the way all of the children looked at the pictures and enjoyed the books, it shows that one is never too old for good quality children's literature.

And thank you my friend Kristi for nominating me as Parent of the Week and thank you Jamie for inviting me to your blog.

p.s. For those that visit the guest post, the wise tip came from Carole Joy Seid the first time I went to one of her seminars.

A Friend in Need

2011-01-16T23:29:00.005-06:00

I haven't met Joanne Heim in person but I have been reading her blog The Simple Wife for a couple of years. She suffered a stroke several days ago -- January 11 to be exact. She hasn't regained consciousness, yet. She is 38 years old, has a husband and two daughters. If you would like to join the band of prayer warriors on her behalf, please pray. If you would like more information, click on the praying for joanne link below or click on the link to her blog, The Simple Wife, which is on my sidebar of recommended blogs.

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble
Therefore we will not fear,
though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

The Year In Review: Jaeger Style Part II

2011-01-01T23:28:00.016-06:00

Christmas morning in our backyard. We live in the city but I'm thankful for our large backyard and this view that looks like the country.

We finally lit our Advent Wreath on Christmas Eve this year.
Last year we did it throughout all four weeks of Advent and became a favorite Christmas memory for me. (Read about that HERE.)

Assistant Mom with the assist in the kitchen (actually helping the husband since he is the main cook in the morning hours. No surprise there for those that know me/us.)

Kip & I with his folks.
I like that we took this picture. We don't have very many of the four of us. Probably because there is almost always more than four of us together when we're together.
We enjoy having family nearby; it's what has kept us in Middle Tennessee for so long.

BFFs
The three of them sure enjoy one another. I'm proud of how they work it out being a threesome. (That is hard for us females to do!)

Sophia's birthday falls right after Thanksgiving. It requires advanced planning to make sure that a birthday party happens. I wasn't on my game this year -- advanced planning has been difficult. It took a couple of weeks to orchestrate all of us getting together and it meant a lot to the birthday girl to have us all celebrate her day (for which she waits all fall -- after all three of the other children have their birthdays.) She wanted a picture of all of us together who were at her family birthday party.

The kids wrote, costumed, staged, and lighted their own play over Thanksgiving week. These are the female actresses in the play.

"Argggh. We are the pirates."
The boys in the play.
There is a video that exists of the play. So someday, if you're family that wasn't there, we'll probably subject you to watch it (whew! it's nice not to be family sometimes?!).

Cousins!

One of Jack's favorite people in the whole world, his older cousin by a year.

My beloved Kip.

Our local Target & OfficeMax parking lot the day after the flood.

Cute, cute, cute. I love this sister shot.
I need to collect and do a collage of pictures of these two that we have taken through the years ever since they were babies.

Some of our dearest friends singing a song at Levi's baptism.

Kindred spirits.
They don't see each other often but they sure love each other.
They are 12 days apart in age and have known each other all of their lives.

Our little fishy.

At camp this summer, the older three went as campers. I went as an assistant cook. (I loved being at camp again.) Someone watched Jack while I was working but every afternoon we had a little time together. We always spent at the pool. Jack loved it. He splashed, dived, and swam. I was surprised how much he improved in a week's time.

This is one of my favorite photos of the year.
Wow, what handsome boys I have.
This is the day at camp we were waiting for the thunder to go away so that we could get into the pool.

A moment of getting along for the two of them.

Kip giving the best man toast at one of his best friend's wedding. He was surprised and honored to be chosen as best man. This was a wedding of rejoicing -- two content single people living and enjoying life when they met the right person to compliment their lives.

Most thankful for the six of us. It was been a wonderful year together.

The Year in Review : Jaeger Style Part I

2010-12-30T23:59:00.000-06:00

If pictures are worth a thousand words, I am certainly over my limit. I have been trying to write my annual year-end letter, looking at the calendar and pictures and journals and reflecting. It was been overwhelming to capture in a one-page letter format. Here is a beginning with some of our photos. Enjoy!

A Day in the Life

2010-12-16T00:28:00.005-06:00

Crazy idea boy with lots of duct tape meets boy with no fear.

Company Girl Coffee

2010-12-10T14:14:00.005-06:00

I linked up today with Rachel Anne at Home Sanctuary for some company girl coffee because 'talking' (or blogging) with women and drinking coffee are two of my favorite things. If you're interested joining us, link on over either HERE or HERE to read and share Christmas memories.

Enjoy! Kathleen

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

2010-12-08T10:44:00.001-06:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here and I didn't really have anything to do with it. Oh, perhaps you could say I had one teeny-tiny thing to do with it. You must not blink, though, or you just might miss it.

While I was scrubbing the bathroom floor (on a Sunday afternoon), I could hear my husband strum a guitar. He was playing some music while he waited. I didn't know he was waiting for me. He didn't know I was cleaning.

(I don't usually work at all on Sundays much less start deep-cleaning projects so why I felt compelled to get on my hands and knees to scour the bathroom tile is hard to say -- except that it was WAY over due and that I had folks coming over on Monday. But, I didn't really remember that I had company coming before I started disinfecting. At some point the dirt simply screams to be eliminated and I oblige. But I digress.)

So, while I am scrubbing the bathroom tile, the Hubby finally comes to find me instead of just waiting. He asks if I want to set up the Christmas tree. I say, "Sure."

And that was the extent of my involvement. That is all I did. I said, "Sure."

This is a true statement.

The Hubby and Sweet Number Three -- who is nine -- brought all the boxes down from the attic. Then, while the Hubby and I were discussing where to displace the trunk that lives in the corner so that we could put the tree in the same spot as last year, the Youngest ran by us and said in a loud voice, "Don't look in the living room or the dining room."

Hmmmm. Could they really do this all by themselves? The Youngest came by again, delivering the same message, "Don't look in the living or dining room."

But the Hubby, who has always been in charge of setting up the tree, had had to modify the tree last year. He needed to go help. He couldn't just let them do it. (He is not, by the way, a control freak. He just wanted to prevent Disasters of Much Greater Harder Work for us later on.) He walked to the living room. The Twelve-Year-Old First Born Son said, "You made a diagram last year, dad. It's clear. I'm following your instructions."

They had moved the trunk from the corner. This capable young man, who builds all-of-the-time, was doing just fine. They were all working together, pleasantly. The Firstborn said, "We'll do this. Put your feet up. "

And so we did.

The Hubby made popcorn. I made hot cocoa. We sat down on the couch, drank cocoa, ate popcorn, and watched the children do all the decorating, including the lights. After we sipped our last sip, we drifted off to a quick cat-nap.

I was thrilled because I had wanted a nap and I wasn't really up for decorating the house. (Though I had been up for scrubbing bathroom tile? As the Hubby said when he found me cleaning on a Sunday afternoon, "You are a strange creature.") But things are a-changing around here. The children really are helpful and able to do. And I was able to nap.

So on Sunday: The children set-up the tree, the nativity scene, the outdoor lights, and the various Christmas knick-knacks around the house. The Hubby strummed a little guitar. I removed the dirt from the bathroom and kitchen floor. (The kitchen floor mopping came after the Christmas decorations and before the movie.) The Hubby & I took naps. We all watched Prince Caspian, which I had checked out from the library. (Which was another first, by the way, because usually the DVDs from the library are so scratched up they simply just do NOT play.)

Life is changing around here. It's not all bad. Actually, it is quite good and it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, too.

A Transformation Has Taken Place

2010-12-03T21:52:00.004-06:00

Once upon a time there was a young lady who had beautiful long hair.

She decided to cut off 8 inches and give it to another child who needs it. She has done this once before. She had long hair, cut it off, grew it out, and now she is cutting it off again.

Her hair sure grows fast.
This is the second time she has undergone this transformation. And it wasn't that long ago that she did this.

Here it is the big cut and the beautiful girl who now has beautiful short hair.
The hair is different, the same lovely lady underneath.

This transformation actually took place in early July.
She wanted me to post this on the blog and here I am getting around to it;
her hair is longer now but at least she isn't ready for another donation!

Thankful

2010-11-23T23:41:00.009-06:00

It 'tis the season to be thankful. We had our Thanksgiving service on Sunday where the congregation was encouraged to give thanks unto the Lord. I was convicted to stop and count my blessings more often. In response to that conviction, here is a sampling of things I'm thankful for, in no particular order:

I am thankful for the folks who have come into town for Thanksgiving this year and that we get to have an unexpected mini-reunion.

I am thankful for my health and the health of my family.

I am thankful for kindred spirits.

I am thankful to have been there for a loving vigil and for all the people there: my family, his family, and their friends that are now like family. (You'll need to read this and this to catch a tidbit of understanding.)

I am thankful for the firstborn's baptism in early March.

I am thankful for friends who have come to visit us in Tennessee this year.

I am thankful that I met my husband in college and that we have 21 years of memories -- 17 of which have been married years , and 12 of those as parents.

I am thankful our house stayed on dry ground during the Historic Flooding.

I am thankful for the Teacher's Lounge.

I am thankful for my in-laws (and that they relocated to a warm place such as Tennessee since I followed hubby here (before he was hubby) who had moved "home." I had wanted to move away from The Winter for a long time.)

I am thankful for the Word of God.

I am thankful we finally built The Treehouse (photos and a post is coming soon...stay tuned).

I am thankful for my children. (All five of them. Several years ago, I miscarried one when I was twelve weeks along. I wouldn't trade the lessons I learned through the sorrow of that time.)

I am thankful for a church of no pretenses.

I am thankful for books and fresh paper and ink.

I am thankful that Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

I am thankful for new bedroom furniture and a beautiful hand-made quilt.

I am thankful for the Body of Christ.

I am thankful for blessings in disguise.

I am thankful that this does not have to be a complete list of everything that I have ever been thankful for before I post it because this surely is not a comprehensive list.

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done. Sing to Him, sing praise to Him; tell of all His wonderful acts. . ..remember the wonders He has done, His miracles. . . " Psalm 105: 1,2 & 5

It was only $4.35

2010-11-16T21:11:00.007-06:00

It was only four dollars and thirty-five cents. And yet tears sprang to my eyes.

It was a quick and unexpected action. She reached over my water glass and said... something. But, it was loud in the restaurant so I couldn't hear her. We'd both had hash browns for breakfast so I thought she was checking to see if our tickets had been switched on accident.

But she said, "I'm getting this today. You need a break." She was paying for my small breakfast.

I had enough in my purse to pay the ticket. But, truth be told: every penny helps. Because it has been four months since my husband last worked.

It was more than just the money. I had enough for today. My friend has been going through difficulties herself. Her son was ill and they're still determining all of the side effects. But she saw past her own troubles and saw into a small thing that she could do for me -- a thoughtful, caring gesture: to pay for the weekly breakfast cost at an early morning Bible study.

It was only $4.35. And tears came to my eyes because it meant so much.

A Mark on the Door

2010-11-09T11:00:00.002-06:00

I have tucked all my children into their beds. There are no cribs here anymore. I threw away the diaper bag more than a year ago. The step-stool by the bathroom sink has been set aside because they can all reach the faucet "flat-footed."

And, now, for the first time I can say, "My youngest is five."

I have had other five-year-olds in my house (three to be exact) but they were never the youngest. There was always a younger sibling. Up until now motherhood for me has been defined by nursing & naps, sippy cups & child's silverware, playgrounds & interrupted conversations.

It didn't really happen in one moment this change from babies to children. They grow gradually. And that is precisely why it is hard to see the growth. So, every once in awhile I back them against the door: heels on the floor, head straight & a pencil line. They step aside. We measure and date the mark and see how much they grew this year.

This turning of five for my last-born is like a mark on the door of my motherhood. One day he was four, and now he is five. Though it didn't happen suddenly, it seems that one minute ago I had babies and now I don't.

I'm not sure how I got here. But I do know that this is the first time in twelve years that I have ever said, "My youngest is five."

Things have changed. And I'm stopping to notice this mark on the door of my heart.

Friendship & Forts

2010-10-21T14:10:00.006-05:00

Our friends were here. And they took this photo of their daughter coming down out of our new tree fort. (Our personal favorite of all the photos.)

Instead of traveling to MN for our annual summer vacation, we stayed home and hubby built a fort. Well, we didn't stay home to build a fort -- per se -- but to make the savings last as long as possible. But the fort would not have been built had we gone on a long road trek & kept at the usual bluster working-schooling-every-day-plus-every-minute-of-every-weekend-filled pace. Fort building has been a stress reliever for hubby during his job quest. Friends coming to visit refreshed all of us.

Our friends stayed with us for three days.

Warm sunny days and cool nights with friends that made it a priority to visit us. I mean really visit: to simply hang out and BE with us. With whatever we were doing or needed to do. Just so very delightful. And filled my love tank very much. We had long lingering conversations. Children that played well together (no tears until that last night!). We roasted s'mores and the four girls had a sleep-over in the tent in the backyard. (It rained a little in the morning. They were troopers and enjoyed running around the yard despite the chilliness.)

Their seven year old taught the whole lot of ours how to sew. My nine-year-old is thrilled! I did not realize that she had been yearning to sew!

After the sewing lessons, they mended clothes that had been on my to-mend-pile for quite some time. Who knew? It had never occurred to me to show them how to sew on a button or to mend a tear in one of their favorite pieces of clothing and thereby helping me to get rid of that stack! They mended their own stuff. In record time (except that it had been sitting around for a long time and some of which no longer fit them! Does that make it record time?) Sometimes it takes a seven-year-old to help you out.

The men went running. The women walking. We went out to eat Mexican. The adults ate ice-cream after the children went to bed. We delivered a meal to a friend that just had a baby. They read tons of the books on my shelves. How fun to have some folks devour books quicker than I do on subjects that I enjoy. It really couldn't get much better than all this!

Thanks friends.

I hope everyone will enjoy such a dose of 'being' time as we did this fall break.

Joyfully,
Kathleen

Sailing on a Sea of Saturdays

2010-10-05T00:08:00.010-05:00

We've been sailing on a Sea of Saturdays since mid-July. There have been some becalmed seas and a few rough patches. But for the most part it has been sunny, smooth sailing.

This Sea, this Sea of Saturdays, what is this sea of which I speak? It is the Unemployed Life. And Why a Sea of Saturdays? Because for days and days and days on end (or at least so it seemed) as we'd round the bend toward evening, we'd think, "Okay, now who still needs a bath before church tomorrow? "And then we'd realize, "Oh, wait...it's not Saturday. It just seems like Saturday because Daddy has been home the whole day. Again." Sigh.

Now, we've graduated from thinking every day is Saturday to trying to remember it's the night to Take The Garbage To The Curb. Who knew that this could be such a difficult thing? Not I! We haven't got our bearings. And so. we are only getting the garbage out to the curb every other week.

Oh, to find our bearings on this Uncertain Sea of Saturdays is not found in asking these questions: Where will we land? How long will it take to get there? How many storms will we go through? They only lead to...well...Uncertainty.

Even though I would rather not be here and am eagerly looking forward to stretching my land legs on some job ashore, I do know that there is One Who is Certain about the future. It is He Who Has Been Providing for us for 171/2 years on land and for 3 months at sea. Things are Uncertain but He is not.

So while we wait to hear "Land Ho," I'm wishing you & yours:

Happy Sailing,
Kathleen

A Link for You

2010-09-21T22:54:00.002-05:00

I read today in Edie's blog, a post that I wish that I had written myself. Though I have never been a doctor or in any kind of profession that garnered respect simply because of the position, I totally resonated with the whole post.

May it encourage you as well. Go HERE to read "What Homeschooling Has Taught Me About Myself. "

Joyfully,
Kathleen

Cheery thoughts on a rainy day

2010-09-11T20:04:00.004-05:00

Spring flower offerings from my lovely offspring.

Encouragement comes from unexpected places at times. A few days ago I read these lines:

Mrs. Kelly was stout and gentle. She was like a large anxious dove. She was different from Betsy's mother who was slim and red-headed and gay. Betsy's mother knew how to scold as well as to laugh and sing. But Tacy's mother never scolded.
from Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace

These matter of fact descriptions about two different mothers cheered my heart about my own mothering. Good mothers come in different shapes and sizes. They look different. Some are gentle, anxious, non-scolding mothers. And some scold but also laugh and sing.

I asked my daughter which mother I was like and she said Betsy's mother. And it helped me embrace some of my mothering strengths -- laughing and singing. And not to stress so much about the scolding that I do. I prefer not to scold and am working on that. But it doesn't negate the strengths.

I thought what cheered me may cheer some of you. Enjoy!

Joyfully,
Kathleen

This must decrease , so that That can increase

2010-08-28T13:56:00.010-05:00

Build relationships over the phone or in person. Use the computer to transmit information. Spend more time outside. These are some of the nuggets I've been pondering due to at least two women: Rachelle Gardner's post about her vacation and Elizabeth Foss' post that answered a question about Time Spent Online over here.

These posts resonated deeply within me and also the Carole Joy Seid conference that I attended two weeks ago. They have helped me to consider what I really want to be about. I've been thinking about how much time I really want to spend blogging. I've aspired to post 4-5 times per week. But that has never even remotely happened.

I thought creating a blog would help me write more often. Perhaps it has on occasion. But I'm not truly focusing on writing, which is a desire. At times, the computer seems to be a greater distraction to writing (there are so many cool things to read & look at here on this world wide web!) than a help.

And so as I consider how to spend more time with these guys:

...and manage time at the computer, I'll be posting less than I was.

I know, I know it is hard to imagine even less postings from me OR spending more time with the children that I home school... . Nevertheless, I want to officially declare to the blog world that is is my plan to decrease my amount of entries. It is intentional to do less and yet not eliminate it entirely.

If you know me, call me and let's do coffee. Or come & over and we'll linger & laugh over a meal. And then just maybe, I'll post your picture here (as long as that's okay with you). Less time on the computer, more time face to face.

Joyfully,
Kathleen

p. s. The flowers are all from our yard and are pictures taken by me.

Carole Joy Seid Inspires Again

2010-08-19T00:05:00.007-05:00

My new friend Hope, Carole Joy Seid & me

Last Saturday, hubby & I went to hear Carole Joy Seid speak for the 'many-nth' time. (I'm not sure just how many times we have heard her.) We brought along some friends who hadn't listened to her before. They went away as refreshed as we did. Hearing again, "Read, read, read to the children; take them outside; and bake cakes with them" resonated deeply within the heart of Kip & I. It is more than a way to home school; it is a way of living.

We have implemented many of her recommendations. We have decorated with books. The highlight of our day is Reading With Daddy. We have purchased real tools for the children. We have turned off the TV and most media (at least for them). We try to praise them for their work ethic and character. (I always need reminding to do lots more of this.)

We still have more things to work on especially spending more time outside and just being comfortable in nature. (Even though we all enjoy the outdoors, I find it difficult to go outside much. Part of it lately has been how hot it has been -- whew!) .

Even though hubby recently lost his job, we were able to purchase some new books. What a huge unexpected treat! Not only are we watching each and every dime that goes out the door (let's make those savings last as long as possible), this was also the first time in a few years where there have been any books left to purchase. Most of the time the books have been sold out before the seminar has started.

In addition to books, we also brought home two Seeds CDs. (The kids were so excited about this. If you haven't listened yet, go and listen HERE. You'll be blessed.) I must confess we were somewhat persuaded by the quote, "Wear the old coat. Buy the new book." We bought these books: The Keeper of the Bees by Gene Stratton-Porter, Stephen Foster And his Little Dog Tray by Opal Wheeler, and Keeping a Nature Journal by Clare Walker Leslie & Charles E. Roth.

I am hoping to do more nature walks and simply observe outdoors in our yard during this school year. We have already begun! Just today, we had a big snapping turtle in our creek. We verified it in our field guide. We tried to get it into a bucket. We watched it swim away and then speculated on where it's hiding. I'm thankful for our yard that has such outdoorsy, woodsy kind of atmosphere right here in the middle of the city. It is possible to go right outside our door & enjoy nature. That's good news! May we keep it up all year long -- actually, may we keep it up all of our lives long.

Joyfully,
Kathleen

Click HERE for the link to Carole Joy Seid's website, but I will warn you there is not content from her seminars but mostly a schedule of where & when. You can get a little flavor of her speaking on the radio interview and hear her style.

Our School Room

2010-08-10T11:12:00.008-05:00

Our school room is the dining room, the same room in which we eat all of our meals. It is a simple approach. A college friend of mine (for those that knew us in college: it was Jinna) encouraged me that we didn't need a special school room to educate our children at home. I love the look of school rooms and having wall space to put up things we're learning about or projects we've done. But because it is a central room of the house, I don't put up much school stuff to look at (unless you count the wall of books in one corner that you can see HERE .) Even so, this space works for us.

A chair at our dining room table is the place our students spend most of their time at our school.

The big windows in the dining room provide lots of natural light and a view of the stray cats and dogs from the neighborhood, some birds and butterflies, the mail carrier putting mail in the mailbox, the changing weather, and other children walking home from school.

The hard part about schooling at the dining room table is that this is also where we eat. At times it is a hassle to clear the table to eat and then start again. But to compensate I often read at lunch time before we've cleaned up the lunch mess.

When the kids are working independently, one or two will scoot off to their rooms or another area of the house so that "they can concentrate." And this is the evidence that is often left behind that readers have been here. We also read in the living room. And the highlight of the day is the evening book that Daddy reads in the living room. In the winter, everyone gets nice and cozy to listen up.

Do you have a special place that you school? Want to see how others do it? Jump on over to the Not Back to School Blog Hop to be inspired.

Kathleen

Books, Books and More Books

2010-08-08T23:50:00.007-05:00

McGooger Academy will launch its 2010-2011 school year on August 23rd with the theme of Books, Books, and More Books. I loosely follow the 'Carole Joy Seid' method which combines the best of Charlotte Mason, Dorothy & Raymond Moore, and a little bit of classical methodology. This translates into math, nature exploration, chores, time to create, some writing and MUCH reading (i.e. on their own, read-alouds by mom, read-alouds by dad, and some group reading out loud to each other and to their youngest brother).

My main plan is to use already purchased curriculum but not yet finished. Some of the books I hope to dent heavily:
* Considering God's Creation
* English From the Roots Up, Vol. I by Lundquist
* A Child's History of the World by Virgil M. Hillyer
* Five In a Row Vol. 1 (for the pre-K student but all will enjoy, I'm sure),
* Emma Serl's Language Lessons (Both Primary & Intermediate depending on which student)
* Catherine Vos' The Child's Story Bible,
* Life of Fred: Fractions
* Making Math Meaningful by David Quine (three different levels),
* Drawing with Children by Mona Brooks
* Creating Books with Children by Valerie Bendt (oh.. to finish this project! it is up first!)

Additional items:
** nature & field trip notebooks (they draw a picture & write a bit (varies based on age of the child) about our nature walk or field trip)
** global puzzle, Rummy Roots, math games (Yahtzee, cribbage, muggins)
** AWANA handbooks
** sign language class
**Unit Studies Made Easy by Valerie Bendt (for further ideas, just in case (gasp!) I finish all this and need more to do!!)

And we'll read, read and read some more some great books. I'm sure there are more books that I want us to cover for there are many on our shelves and those of the library that we would like to read. But this looks like a good place to start.

May we be encouraged to walk out the path before us.

With joy & peace,
Kathleen

p.s. For more curriculum choices look at Heart of the Matter Online's Not Back to School Blog Hop and with Angie at Bring the Rain. I found these links through Edie's blog at lifeingrace.

Camp, Change, Loss and Being in the Moment

2010-08-06T10:01:00.006-05:00

I didn't mean to stay away so long. The kids & I went away to camp for a week. We loved it. And I thought I would return to blogging right away. Wrong! My husband stayed home to job hunt. After 17 1/2 years at the same company, he was laid off the week before we went to camp. (Yes, it was a surprise! But not so much as he looked back.) So we've been doing a lot of reassessing, thinking, talking and reminding ourselves that it is not Saturday.

After camp, we attended two funerals (older women-- one from our new church and one from our old church) and mourned the loss of Grandma and Grandpa's dog who also died while we were away at camp. Our hearts have endured much loss in the past year: this was the fourth and fifth funeral we have attended in eight months, plus two pets (our cat & our grandparent's dog) and daddy's job loss.

All of our losses reminded me of this verse, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things, I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that comes from God and is by faith." Philippians 3:8-9. Now it is a little out of context, but it helped me gain perspective on all that God is doing in our lives and the character formation that I am seeing in all of us. And that we still have so much to be thankful for.

In other news, I have been pondering this post at Rachelle Gardner's blog about her vacation and unplugging and being there in the moment. While I was away at camp, I did not miss for one second the lack of a computer. I was there in the moment working hard, playing hard & sleeping hard. But when I got home, I've been drawn to the computer (although I am having to share it more with a job-seeking hubby). I want all of life to be more in the moment. Being there with these four kids in the here & the now while they are still here under my roof.

So in addition to life changes and lots of activity, I'm pondering how much I want to be blogging. Haven't decided, yet. But the slower activity on my blog (not that I have ever posted at a rate that I'm aiming for.. .sigh...) is due to all these things. And I thought someone out there might like to know.

Kathleen

p.s. We've been experiencing much peace in the job loss/hunt and much love & encouragement & support from friends and family.

I'll be on my way

2010-07-18T09:06:00.006-05:00

Hello friends,
I will be out of pocket for over a week & will resume bloggy posts a week from Monday.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." I Peter 5: 10-11

Kathleen

An Uncle, A Flood & Other May/June Highlights

2010-07-14T13:03:00.013-05:00

May 1 & 2: Flooding of Historic Proportions

May 4: Dance Recital

May 7: Visit with Friend from Croatia

May 9: Mother's Day with home-made cards & breakfast in bed

In honor of An Uncle: May 16th

(our lives interrupted from May 13-June 2nd)

My husband trekked to & from Minnesota solo with four children for the funeral & visitation of our brother-in-law/uncle. Inspired by the photo boards at the visitation, Assistant Mom suggested imitating the pose of a photo of their uncle with Babe the Big Blue Ox of Paul Bunyan fame.

June 13: Piano Acquisition

Culmination of a Great Baseball Season (late February-mid June):
Sportsmanship & All-star Awards June 19 Award Ceremony

Friends who came to visit. June 19-20

Everyday drama & fun that happens at our house.

Jaeger Cousin Lollapalooza: June 24-30
7 great kids + 6 over-90-degree Tennessee days =
memories of a lifetime

Good readers make good story-tellers

Buddies!

Warriors!

Change really DOES happen

2010-07-12T12:50:00.013-05:00

It is me -- the one who used to flop on the couch after work & think..."oh, what we will have for dinner?" and fall asleep. My new (at the time) husband would come home from work and find me there. Every day. "Do you take a nap every day?" We would deliberate about what to eat for dinner. There's nothing in the cupboard to make & it would take too long. After a l o o o n g time, we would often drive off to get something to eat.

Now, look, I make menu plans and actually assign what we'll eat to SPECIFIC days, such as Tacos on Tuesday. Yes, me? Can you believe it? Yes, I Miss-creative-non-domesticated-this is TOO-HARD-for-me-I-would-rather-nap-on-the-couch-Woman -- have been writing down a weekly meal plan for over a year now.... and I LOVE it ?!? And the weeks I don't have a plan. I miss my plan. It is CRAZY actually.

But it gives me hope. Hope that I can keep on changing in other areas, too.

Over the course of years (I have been married 17 years now, you know), I moved from no plan at all. To going grocery shopping every other week. To following the detailed once-a-month cookbook plan. To having on-hand ingredients to make specific meals (and still retaining that freedom, oh that delicious freedom, of deciding each day WHAT I would feel like eating because, come on now, I mean, how could I possibly know in advance that I would want Tacos on Tuesday and not Porkchop Romance? Ridiculous! I needed food freedom.) To... finally.... making a Weekly Meal Plan.

How did this free-flowing mama get from not wanting to assign food to a particular day to feeling giddy about the return of my Weekly Meal Plan?

What happened? (I mean, besides the embracing of life's duties as not-so-bad, gaining skills, and growing up into the responsible human being my parents trained me to be? Well...in addition to all that...) I read this:

"In many ways, a schedule can relieve stress from your life. When tasks become routine, they require much less physical and emotional energy. A normal day is easier to get through without having to make numerous draining decisions"...from The Managers of Their Homes by Steven and Teri Maxwell

And so it began: The beginning of The Weekly Menu Plan in an effort for less draining decisions in my day. (Click on the Grocery Cart Challenge for more inspiration. I use her menu plan template.) At first, I had to MAKE myself follow my own decisions. (Silly but true.) That first week, we ate dinner late a lot of nights (which isn't terribly unusual for us but it was still later than normal). But I stuck with it for several months. No grocery shopping until I had made The Plan.

And you know what I found? That the Food Freedom that I tenaciously clung to was NOT worth the Free Brain Space. It's rather remarkable how much time was taken up thinking: "What's for dinner? What will the children not complain about? What is in the cupboard? What would I like to have? What would hubby like? Do I have all the ingredients? Do I have enough time to make that?"

Now I have more space in my brain to make decisions about other equally important all-consuming things. . . like. . . what are we going to do today?

Those pesky little --- I mean BIG -- feelings just need to be ignored sometimes and duty embraced. And I will gain skill. And I will change...one little baby step at a time...over the course of many years. Change really DOES happen sometimes so there is hope for those other bad habits!

Oh, and for the curious, here is my After A Long Hiatus ((because I was in Minnesota for 3 weeks in May and hauling a piano to our house (which is now updated with a photo), among other things lately) Weekly Menu Plan:

Monday: Broccoli pasta (originally found through the Grocery Cart Challenge website)

Tuesday: Sausage & wild rice casserole (my own original recipe inspired from MN-made ingredients)

Wednesday: Grilled cheese sandwiches & Parmesan garlic broccoli, carrots & cauliflower bake

Thursday: Cold tuna pasta & bread (church has been giving away lots of yummy bread)

Friday: Pancakes & eggs (I'm off to dinner with some friends that night & this is a great meal for hubby & kids to make.)

Really, that wasn't so hard, was it? Sigh. So perhaps the other things won't be so hard, either!

Are there long-term changes you have seen in your life?

Kathleen

Lions, Mountaintops, and Rescued Faith

2010-07-09T16:01:00.009-05:00

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver, "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King; I tell you." from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

C.S. Lewis has been a favorite author of mine for a long-time. In college, his book Mere Christianity rescued my faith from a Philosophy of Religion class in a way that my friends and that my memorized Bible verses couldn't do. But, what put Lewis in extra high regard for me was the year that I read the Chronicles of Narnia out loud to my children the first time. It was my first year of homeschooling; I had a 6, 5 and 3 year old. In order to accommodate their different reading levels, I was reading separate books to each of them: Johnny Tremain and Heidi to the oldest, Cricket in Times Square to the next and picture books to the youngest (at the time). I would fall asleep reading. (My excuse then? I was pregnant. (No such excuse today but, I digress.))

And then, I pulled out The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis and began to read. The three of them were spellbound. And so was I. And Lewis rose further in my esteem than he had been before. I didn't know that this was possible!  I was staying awake, looking forward to reading aloud, was rescued from reading three different stories at a time, and given insight to mull over as I went about my day. Can you ask for more than that? (As an aside: I will say, though, that the three year old was engaged in the first book but didn't hang through the whole series until she was a little older.)

I'm looking forward to re-reading my top three favorites: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Silver Chair. I will probably re-read the whole series; it just may or may not happen in July as part of this challenge.

The quote about not safe but good reminds me of the character of God (and also this post over HERE). I even used it as an analogy at Bible study when we were working through the fear of the Lord and what that is to look like. This image of the Beavers talking about Aslan came quickly to mind. Word pictures works so well.

And another favorite concept is from The Silver Chair.

"And secondly, I give you a warning. Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the Mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart. And pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters. " from the Silver Chair

Sometimes it seems so clear the directions from the Lord -- in a quiet time or at church. And then when I go to work it out in my daily life, it looks a lot different. Then, I am reminded of this things are muddier down here idea from Narnia and I am encouraged.

I'll be sharing some more insights as I go. Hope it encourages you to join us in the challenge.

Kathleen

The Us Box is Now Seventeen

2010-07-03T17:05:00.018-05:00

Seventeen years married (or twenty-one knowing each other) sounds like a long time, but seems like a short time to be married to my best friend (got that great quote from someone I admire!) I love the smile and smirk captured on this photo. We have so much fun together. I can't imagine life without you.

October 2009

Christmas 2009

You introduced me to the magic of hats many years ago and they, too, have become an integral part of us. This shot reminds me of the MANY self-portrait shots we used to take. ("We like us and still do!) This one was actually taken by the First Born.

December 2009

One of two times my hair has ever been straightened. You looked at me the way I looked at you the first time you cut your hair -- SHOCKED!

November 2009

Twenty-three years ago, a mutual friend introduced us in college. (Don't I mean preschool? Certainly we're not this old!) Then a couple of years later we got to know each other: Resident Assistants on the same staff and a film class together. After a long walk to the Fryin' Pan for caramel rolls and a Jaeger family houseboat ride, "things" were never the same. After graduation, you went to Tennessee, I to Michigan. A year later, I followed you. Another year later, we were married.

Then the fun really began: doing errands together -- laundromat, groceries, hardware -- and hanging out together alone and with friends -- music team, community groups, sand volleyball, road trips. After five years of "just us," along came baby number One and before we'd fully adjusted to being parents baby number Two was here and not long after, number THREE was too. A few years later we added number Four. And now we've been married longer with kids than without.

And through it all we've maintained the Us Box. You're my best friend, my confidant, my husband.

Especially in light of my sister's loss a few weeks ago, I'm especially grateful for the amount of years we've had together.

With love & gratitude,
Wifey

Coming Soon

2010-06-27T21:19:00.001-05:00

We had a fun day today viewing Toy Story 3 with our three nephews who are here spending a week with us. Hence the lack of posts. I have some posts floating in my mind that will be coming soon.

What's on my nightstand?

2010-06-23T15:02:00.006-05:00

No not all of these are on my nightstand! Whew! But one day
I would like to say that I have read all of the books on these shelves
(and before the First Born).
Right now I have read about 75% of them.

Over the weekend, we had out-of-town friends visit. I noticed that their son went to the car to get a book. I thought to myself, "I'm not reading any books. I don't have any books on my to read list."

Now why it took another person's son to reveal this to me is interesting since everywhere I go... and I mean everywhere...my children read...at the ball game (except the one playing baseball), at the oil change place, in the car going anywhere (even for a few moments down the road), in their beds, at the breakfast table. My children constantly have their noses in books. We even recently had two different people give us large stacks of books because my children are reading all of the time. But it must have been the newness of seeing someone else reading that triggered my compulsion to build a stack of books on my own nightstand. And then I discovered this:

And so I am joining in (albeit a day late):

On my 'nightstand':

1) Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, complete and unabridged. I read more books than my husband but this is one that he has read that I haven't. My oldest son and I are in a competition to be the one who has read ALL of the books on our bookshelves in our dining room (yep, almost every room in the house has bookshelves). And so this one must be conquered. Plus, I was recently reading on a blog somewhere about someone reading this book out loud to their children and everyone enjoying it. So that motivated me to pick it up.

2) John Newton by Aitken I purchased this at a Carole Joy Seid Homeschool Seminar (which I highly recommend if you are homeschooling or thinking about it). I have enjoyed all of the books she has recommended. I'm not sure why this one has gone unread. So now it too is in my newly-made stack to read.

3) Nick of Time by Ted Bell. I have chosen this book for two reasons. Last November, my sister-in-law and I were on a road trip to Chicago and started to listen to this audio book (and then I fell asleep; no worries, she was driving). The second reason is that my oldest son has read it and loved it. And so I want to read it, too.

4) Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis. I am going to participate in this July challenge. My goal is to re-read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Silver Chair. These three are my favorites. If I read through them quickly or just feel the urge, I may just read them all.

I know that I'll be blogging for sure about the Chronicles of Narnia as part of that challenge. And perhaps the others, too.

What are you reading this summer? Or do you have any good recommendations once I am finished with these?

Love, Kathleen

An Invitation for You

2010-06-21T16:45:00.004-05:00

Do you need some summer reading? Or need an incentive to read?

I just heard about this new reading challenge from my friend Stephanie at Olive Tree (but is being hosted by Carrie at Reading to Know with a give-away involved.) This is right up my alley. I will be participating because The Chronicles of Narnia are on the top of my list of very favorite books in the world. I was just thinking that I needed to be reading some books. Most of my reading lately has been blogs. Which is nice. But I can't snuggle up with it in bed (no laptop). But a blog is just not the same as a book or two. This is perfect timing for me and I wanted to extend the invitation for anyone else that might need/want it, too.

So for all you Narnia & Lewis fans, come along and sign up. And if you haven't ever read them, join us and see what it is all about.

It will be fun!

The Aftermath

2010-06-17T16:47:00.003-05:00

Here are the pictures of "Lake Target" (taken the Day After the Big Rains & which is only 1.5 miles from our home) and some of the destruction of houses near our church (taken one week after The Flooding on Mother's Day).

The top picture is from the apartments of two families from our church that were only able to get out with the clothing on their backs. The building was condemned so both families had to relocate (instead of go back to a restored unit). They were the recipients of many donations to refurbish their apartments. The generosity and love and support from people that comes out of crisis inspires me. And is one of the good things that comes out of the hard thing.

It reminds me that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. We wouldn't choose the hard things in our lives. When the hard 'thing' is upon us, it is often difficult to see the good coming out of it. Don't you agree?

Have you been able to see any good come out of a hard time in your life?

Piano

2010-06-14T10:19:00.007-05:00

We have a piano! If I had a digital camera **UPDATE ** But I do have a film camera, ***, I would take a picture *** and I took a picture, developed it, put it on a CD (at the store)*** and post it here. ** and uploaded it so now here it is.*** But I don't, so I will have to paint the pictures with words. *** (Still glad I painted the picture with words, too.)***

We unloaded the piano into our home at 10 p.m. last night. And this morning, melodic piano sounds grace my ears. Yes, melodic sounds. Simple melodies and pretty sounds are floating in our home. One child is plucking out songs on it (the one I thought would be least interested in it) and the other two are playing their recorders from their music class a year ago. Delightful! (They inherited Daddy's musical-ness. I love and enjoy music, too, but Daddy has a more natural 'ear'. )

A week ago, I mentioned to my mother-in-law that we would like to have a piano. And then a week later she calls again. The piano that they had had in their living room years ago and sold to a friend is putting in carpet next Wednesday and was interested in selling this same piano and would we like it?

My husband was out of town. His plane arrived late. I mention it to him at 11 o'clock on Saturday night and twenty-four hours later, we have a piano in our front room. Much to his chagrin. He thought he would be able to relax after a week-long business trip. Instead, he served us (like he so very often does). Thanks hubby.

Thanks to the in-laws, my hubby, the sellers' son-in-law and a friend, we have a piano in our home.

During and After Flood Photos

2010-06-09T23:06:00.012-05:00

Our Creek in Flood on Sunday May 2nd * Historic Flooding

I can hardly believe that it has been a little over a month since the Historic Flooding in Nashville May 1st and 2nd. I left town a week and a half after the floods and returned in June. I had planned to help with flood relief but God had other plans for me in Minnesota.

The Day After * Monday, May 3rd, 2010
or
What Our Creek Usually Looks Like

We have a water run-off creek that runs alongside our home. And many have asked how we fared...just fine....thankfully. Not because of our own doing.

After 13-18 inches of rain in two days (translate: cooped up!), the younger three had to get out and play in the rain: the air was warm, the water cold! If you notice the stick in the first photo and then the second photo, you'll see how much water was in the front yard. (They're not quite in the same spot in both photos.)

Here they are ready to deliver snacks, water and home-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to people who might need it on The Day After. We brought them to high school where folks from Opryland Hotel had been evacuated. They took our meager donations but it looked like they were well taken care of by Gaylord. It was a little disappointing. It would have been more dramatic to give it to someone just boated out from their home. But, sometimes you do what you can.

Our backyard creek on the day of the flood.

Our backyard creek the Day After the Flood and what it often looks like.
At times the creek bed is totally dry. ( It was just this past Tuesday.)

Although our waters had receded on The Day After, the river had not yet crested and more flooding was headed toward downtown and further downstream as well. It was so sunny the Day After that the impact of the waters from the day before seemed surreal.

I have a few pictures of Lake Target, just 1.5 miles from our house, and some pictures of flood damage that occurred near our church. But, they will have to wait for another post.

Firsts

2010-06-08T12:14:00.007-05:00

Three days ago, I had a conversation with a mom friend about how her fourth child was going to be her latest walker, yet. And I wondered when my fourth child walked, especially if it was late or early in comparision with the other children. I didn't know.

I looked on his first year calendar, which was only filled in to the sixth month. Uh-oh. I hoped I had written the info somewhere.

I went back looking on old calendars (which I keep to put scrapbook pages in the order that the events happened) and in old journals. I had the information to fill in his first year calendar! Yay! Good news!

All this sleuthing led me to compare more than just when the youngest walked but other interesting trivia, to their mom at least. This is what I found:

Rolling Over from Tummy to Back
S was 5 days old! (yes! it is true)
L, M and J were almost 3 months old

Rolling from Back to Tummy
S at 3 months
L & J were right around 3 1/2 months
M 4 1/2 months

Crawling on Hands & Knees
S * 6 months
M * 7 months
L * 7 1/2 months
J * 8 1/2 months

First Step
S * 9 months, 4 days
J * 10 months, 2 weeks
L * 1o months, 3 weeks
M * 11 months, 1 week

Walking
J * 11 months, 2 weeks
S * 11 months, 2 1/2 weeks
M * 11 months 3 weeks
L * 12 months, 1 week

Running
J * 12 months, a few days
He is the only child that I wrote down when he was running! He went the quickest from a step to a walk to a run.

First Tooth, Second Tooth
M * 6 months * 6 1/2 months
J * 7 months (1 day before) * 7 months (4 days after)
S * 8 1/2 months * 8 3/4 months
L * 9 3/4 months * 10 1/2 months

First words
L * Night, night
S * Daddy
M * Mama
J * Ball

It cracks me up that the boys first words were about events or things -- night, night & ball. It seems fitting then that the girls' first words were people: daddy & mommy.

I think the most surprising element in my research was that my first born wasn't the soonest in any accomplishment! I thought he was the most amazing kid and would wow the pediatrician at his amazing prowess at being able to roll over and walk and talk. The doc always said he was "normal". And I thought, "Normal? You mean brilliant! Exceptional! Extraordinary!"

Now, I know that normal development and healthy are wonderful words to hear. But, it was a serving of humble pie for this mother. And here it is surprising me again that my first born didn't accomplish any of these milestones sooner than other children except for me. He was the first child that I watched roll over, take a step, and get a tooth and walk. He still is exceptional to me and so are all three of the others: each in their own unique way and because they belong to me.

On being there

2010-06-04T11:33:00.008-05:00

Several years ago there was a rush of events around a Thanksgiving time that included my dad being in the hospital for gall bladder surgery. As I recall there had been a snow storm and someone needed to help shovel mom and dad's driveway. I was in Tennessee and everyone else is in Minnesota. (It's still that way.)

I remember talking with one of my siblings (I have four) and saying how much I wanted to be there. I think it was a sister who said, "It's okay. There's nothing you can really do." She was trying to comfort me. And what she said was true: there wasn't anything more that I could do.

In a way, she felt similar to me, we wished we could do something. Something to fix it. Something to help. Oh, someone went and shoveled the driveway and made sure my mom could get to the hospital. People waited at the hospital and visited dad. Those were things that could be done. And they were done. But sometimes it doesn't seem like enough.

But I lived 900 miles away. My heart ached to be there even though there was nothing I could do.

I want that strong sense of wanting to be there even though there isn't anything to do to infuse my every day life here. A sense of focus on being over doing.

I still live 900 miles away from my family of origin. But recently I was enabled to be there for a family crisis (you can read about that here) which is no small feat. In-laws and friends helped my husband take care of our four homeschooled children so that I could just be a sister.

And in the being, there was doing: laundry, phone calls, playing with my niece, driving places. But the primary focus was being with some doing sprinkled in (even on the "busy" days).

I would like to take this back to my life: a focus on being rather than doing. Things still need to get done. I am responsible for more things now that I am home, responsible for different things.

But, I want the peaceful focus of being there to infuse my life all of the time.

Not sure how to do it. But then again I didn't know how to do many things while I was away. I trusted God just one step at a time. So I guess I'll keep doing that same thing: trusting one step at a time and

just being there.

Isn't that just what I said I wanted: to be versus do?

By the way, my dad recovered just fine from the gall bladder surgery those many years ago.

Nineteen Days

2010-06-03T10:45:00.006-05:00

Nineteen days I have been away. Nineteen days that have marked my life. Nineteen days of mostly walking quietly, listening, seeing what needs to be done and doing it. Asking a few questions and listening some more. When asked "will you do this?", saying yes whether I wanted to or not or whether I had done it before or not. My willingness made me qualified for the task. My willingness made me want to do the tasks. Just like the others around me.

I joined their willing example when I arrived to the loving vigil. I was allowed to step in and link arms and serve. There was waiting; there was giving pain meds; there were phone calls; there were photos; there was laughter; there were tears; there was tension; there was love. And there were lots of hugs.

There was really good food, wine and beer. There was labored breathing. There was ice cream. There were groans. There was chocolate. There were stories. There was laughter. There were tears. There was waiting and lots of hugs. There were family and friends who were really family, too. There was little sleep. There was a quiet last breath.

And I was there. Usually I live 900 miles away but I was allowed to be there, for nineteen days.

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

2010-05-12T23:32:00.003-05:00

This picture of my sister, her husband and daughter was taken last November at our parents' 50th wedding anniversary. It is ironic to me that they are sitting under this banner because they will not ever celebrate 50 years together. Not because they don't want to. They do very much want to. He is losing a battle to pancreatic cancer. His last hours here on earth are imminent. As someone posted on their caring bridge journal: Barry is raw courage and Nancy loyal perseverance. Today's post is in honor of them.

With much love,
Kathleen

Treasure Test

2010-05-11T14:14:00.008-05:00

This weekend we had a friend from Croatia eat dinner with us. On Saturday, we met a new friend from Asia. They have reminded us of our blessings here in America. We can read our Bibles; gather together with friends at home; we can buy discounted clothing; we reap from a spiritual harvest from generations long ago.

I am glad to be reminded of things that are easy for me to take for granted because I have always had them.

We also drove around and saw some of the devastation from the floods last weekend. Two different families from church came out of their homes with the clothes on their backs. That's it. As my daughter prayed that night with the woman's words: "Things are things. People are people." They had the most important thing: each other. They survived the flood with each other.

We work hard to have beautiful things around us that can be destroyed in a moment's flood.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

May my treasure be in God Himself and His beautiful created people. May I enjoy the beauty that is around me and even work to make my home beautiful but not to the point of treasuring the things above the people that live here. When disaster strikes, we are reminded of the most important things -- which aren't things at all but people.

Thankful today for the gift of today and the people that surround me each day -- my children and my husband.

Have a joyful day,
Kathleen

Hand Sanitizer, Paper Plates and a Lack of Laundry

2010-05-05T12:10:00.019-05:00

Azaleas in our front yard.

What do hand sanitizer, paper plates, and not doing laundry have in common? They are part of what I am doing to conserve water after the weekend's Historic Flooding in Middle Tennessee. At least one water treatment plant has been flooded and so they have asked us to use half our normal water usage. So I figure we can use hand sanitizer a bit to wash our hands and more paper plates for a few less dishes. And I have a great excuse to not do as much laundry! I was trying to get away with not doing any. But that doesn't work in a family of six that includes dancers and ball players and your general-wearers-of-clothes.

But actually it is really good to think about NOT wasting water and using as little as I can. I should do it all of the time. I think of a friend living overseas who has only a certain amount of water all of the time. It gets turned off and on at random times for her. How much precious water I waste on a regular basis! I am thankful to think about conserving.

After two days of solid rain over the weekend, the sun has been out shining ever since. It is beautiful around here (like the pretty flowers above). God has given (the rain) and taken it away (so much sunshine!). The waters are receding, and the mess cleanup continues. Have you seen the Downtown Nashville and Opryland Hotel flooding pictures? Less available water available and less tourism, and we'll be feeling the effects for quite some time. Of course, those with the most damaged homes will feel it even longer.

But it is always inspiring to me how much neighbors help neighbors in times of crisis. People coming together to lend a hand. Most folks I know wish they could help more than they have (including me). It is good to get us out working side-by-side, reminding us that we need each other.

I am so thankful for the sunshine after the storm, a message that storms do end.

"This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

A Challenge of April --Blogging from A to Z

2010-05-03T23:24:00.004-05:00

The day before April started, I saw a comment on Rachelle Gardner's blog about a blogging challenge. I linked over to Arlee Bird's blog who challenged folks to blog Monday-Saturday for the month of April which would include 26 days -- one for each letter of the alphabet. I had just been thinking that I needed to be more committed to this thing called a blog so in spite of a full calendar, I dived in to this everyday blogging challenge.

I began with the thought that I could do this even going out of town a couple of times. Write a few posts at a time and then merely make sure they post every day. Ha-ha! It could be said that I failed greatly since I entered 9 posts in the month of April. That falls quite short from the stated 26. BUT, I probably entered 9 more posts than I would have without the challenge.

I have learned how fun it is to have some new followers and followers that comment! Thank you Arlee, Ellie, Lisa, Melody, Deborah Ann,...and others. I know now how fun it is to make cyber friends. And thanks to all my In Real Life friends who have also commented (either here in the blog (Steve, Kristi, Steph & others) or have shot me an email -- like my dad)!!

I have also learned that I write better blog posts on a spiral bound notebook --- far away from computer land where distractions are too many to count.

It takes commitment to write--blogging or not. The writer's life requires a commitment to writing in the midst of baseball games, illness, historic flooding, missionary friends that we hadn't seen in five years, dance classes and homeschooling and being a wife and an aunt and a sister, family crisis 900 miles away where my heart is most of the time, ministry challenges in our church, teeth being lost (by normal growing children). It is easy to excuse NOT writing; it is much harder to be committed to writing and developing the gift in the midst of life.

These are the thoughts of a writer who could look like they failed but have NOT. For I am writing still and will continue...I press on.

Love, Kathleen