Tuesday, May 20, 2014

One sign that time has been well-spent

When time is well spent, it breaks your heart to say goodbye. Even though you know it will only be for a little while and that you'll not always be  apart, it can still rip your heart in two.

When time is well spent, miles and years can never really separate what has been deeply intertwined in your heart. Because being together has changed who you are. Not because they changed you but because they gave you the courage to be who you really are. To be vulnerable. You were you. And they were they. And you loved each other. Kindred spirits.


And now it is time to say goodbye. For awhile.

I think sometimes the 'for awhile part' makes people think that the goodbye doesn't hurt as much. But that is not true. The only time goodbye doesn't hurt is when it was time NOT well-spent.

There was a vivid time in my life when goodbye didn't hurt. I was glad to be leaving. I look back on that very difficult year of my life and there is not much redeemable from that time, certainly no relationship or connection from that time.

God profoundly used that time in my life in other ways. But at the end of that school year, goodbye didn't hurt. It was a relief.

It was one of the few times in my life when goodbye didn't hurt. Maybe the only time.

So now I know that I don't really want to feel only relief and gladness to be getting away. Even though I don't want to be feeling this. This heart-wrenching good-bye. Even though I don't want to say goodbye right now, even though I don't want to hurt this way.....it is good.

It is good. Time has been well-spent.

I have been given an amazing gift. As a friend reminded me last night, sometimes we don't know how much the Lord has given until He takes it away.

I knew they were special. I knew that I loved them. But I don't know if I knew what a great, grand gift I had been given in their special friendship throughout the years.

We have stories of rattlesnakes, flat tires, wet camping trips, and shivering trips tubing down a  river. We've been at each others weddings and graduations and baby births. We've held each others hands as we've said goodbye to a mom and a dad. We talked and laughed and camped and cried. We've jumped off cliffs. Played cards til the wee hours of the night.  Brewed coffee, run races. Watched chickens and flowers grow. We've spun our lives together for more than twenty years. What a gift.

Soon these kindred spirit friends are moving far away -- four thousand miles far away -- for at least three years. I love their courage, their pluck to live their calling.

I am inspired.

And sad.

My heart is breaking. It feels like it may never recover.

Time has been well-spent. Thank you. Amen.

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How about you? Any painful goodbyes recently?

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8 comments:

  1. O Kathleen, I couldn't have said it better. I will miss you guys and I hope that the next 20 years holds twice the good memories as the past two decades.
    Greg

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    1. Here's hoping for a thriving dental practice with frequent trips home and winning plane tickets to Alaska for us!

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  2. oh yes. I can relate to this, having just moved from CO to MO. It's hard to leave your closest friends!

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    Replies
    1. That's right! You guys moved last summer!

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Well spent, indeed. Godspeed, friends.

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  4. Hi Kathleen, thanks for commenting on my Guest Post at Freshly Brewed Life! I know what you mean about hard good-byes. After living in CA all my 59 years, we will be living in TX by the end of June! We are going to live near my eldest son and his wife, which is wonderful! But we are leaving our other son (27 yrs) here in CA. Not fun!! thanks for commenting becaus enow I have found a new great blog to read!!
    Susie

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    Replies
    1. Wow that sounds like an eve longer and harder goodbye...but kudos to you for facing the new adventure set before you

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Thanks for being part of the conversation...I love hearing from you. Kathleen

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